


Things Once Forgotten

by JezzieTilt



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Mild Smut, Older Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-06 02:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14632170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JezzieTilt/pseuds/JezzieTilt
Summary: Marinette gave up on her feelings for Adrien after he began dating Kagami. Chat Noir moved on from Ladybug just as she began to have feelings for him. Four years later Marinette is still nursing her broken heart but can a newly returned Luka help her heal?Adrian has a lot on his plate as well. Marinette has sparked something in him that he didn't realize he needed just as problems at home begin to literally destroy his world.





	1. The Train Has Left The Station

**Author's Note:**

> So first off I have to warn you that this is the first time I've ever shared my writing so please be gentle.  
> Secondly I equally love Adrien and Luka with Marinette so be prepared for a lot of back and forth and indecision.  
> Lastly I hate unfinished work. I promise that I will never leave a story without an end even if I just outline it in an epilogue. You will have an ending I promise.  
> Enjoy!

“Dudes! I’ve got a GIG! “Nino launches himself at Alya’s and my desk and throws down two white rubber bracelets. He’s so giddy that he’s hopping foot to foot. “And you’re both invited!”

Alya reaches for the bracelet and slides it on her wrist admiring it like it was a diamond tennis bracelet. “What kind of ‘gig’ ya got babe?”

“The best kind!” Nino pulls out his phone and starts flicking his finger across it. “It’s this new primo dance club on the river bank. They use black lights and glow in the dark paints. It’s psychedelic.”

I lean in close to Alya as he hands her the phone. She starts scrolling through pictures of people dancing in the dark. Their clothes and painted skin glowing orange and yellow and green.

“Nino this looks amazing!” Alya exclaims handing him back his phone.

“What’s amazing?” Adrien chimes in siting at the desk in front of them.

This simple acknowledgement used to send my heart a flutter. I used to go weak in the knees and light in the head. It’d been a long time since that happened.

Nino joins him and passes him his phone. “It’s my new gig, bro. I’m DJing at this dance club,” he gestures at the phone, “this weekend and was able to score you guys VIP Passes.” He throws another white bracelet at Adrien. “You think you would be able to make it? It’s supposed to be stellar!”

“Look at this place, how could I say no? Besides I’ll never miss the chance to appreciate your genius. Any chance you got another? I’d like to bring Kagami.”

“Uh….I...can maybe … see if I…” Nino hesitates. His eyes flick back to us.

Alya’s eyes cut to me and a small frown pulls down her mouth. For nearly four years now I have suffered the exquisite pain of literally having a front row seat to Adrien talking about his girlfriend. Luckily she goes to a snooty private school and I don’t have to see them together. I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. I grab my bracelet and lean toward them. Alya eyes me knowing too well what my next response will be.

It doesn’t stop me from trying.

“Hey guys don’t worry,” I extend the bracelet, “you can…”

Alya snatches the bracelet out of my hand cutting me off, “…get another one! Right Nino!”

He looks even more uncertain then before. “Uh…yeah…I’ll get right on it.”

Adrien looks between the three of us questioningly, “If it’s a problem Nino you don’t have to worry about it. Kagami and I aren’t attached at the hip. Besides it’s been a while since I’ve hung out with just my friends.”

Ouch! And there it was. The reminder of my eternal state in the friend zone.

Nino reaches out and cuffs Adrien’s shoulder. “If you wouldn’t mind, Bro. It’s my first gig and I don’t want to make waves.”

“No problem! Just had to ask at least.” Adrien winks at him. “You’re not the only one who doesn’t want to make waves.”

They share a laugh, heads coming together to scroll through more photos.

Alya leans in and whispers roughly in my ear, “You. Are. NOT. Leaving me alone with them. I know how much all this sucks but please Marinette. Nino is going to be DJing and if you give up your bracelet it’ll leave me with just the love birds.”

Her eyes flick toward Adrien to see if he is still distracted. Yep just as unaware as ever.

She turns back to me and continues in a hushed tone. “The last time Nino and I hung out with them she dictated the entire night. We invited them to see that new mystery flick but she wasn’t interested. She wanted to see the new action movie instead. So we sat around for forty-five minutes waiting for the next showing. It was horrible. She talked the entire time about herself. If she did change a topic it was to tell one of us how we were mistaken about something.”

I felt a twinge at this. “But he sounds so happy when he talks about her.”

Alya looks back at Adrien again. “Maybe he is. I don’t know.” Her gaze softens. “He deserves better,” Alya’s eyes go right back to me, “and I’m not just saying that ‘cause I have a perfect candidate.”

I can’t stop my eye roll. “That train has left the station and I’m not sure it’ll ever make a return visit.” Alya’s expression is equal parts derision and sympathy. “I mean it Alya. There’s only so much I can hope that he’ll see me as something more than his friend. It’s been years. That said I don’t want him to be unhappy either. Are you sure you're not just exaggerating? I mean you both are kind of..."

"Kind of what Marinette?"

"Uh kind of ... you both have ....I-I mean yo-you both..."

"Are a bitch?" Her arms cross over her chest and a single eyebrow rises to scold me.

"NO!"

Everyone in the class has stopped talking and is now staring at us. I feel my whole body heat up as I sputter and slink deep into my chair. My awkward behavior doesn't hold their attention however and the background chatter resumes. Nino holds my gaze with a much too knowing grin before he resumes talking with Adrien who in turn takes a second longer watching us before he focuses his full attention on Nino. I feel guilty talking badly about his girlfriend behind his back. Especially since I don't know her that well.

Still scrunched low in my seat I lean closer to Alya and hiss, "you know that's not what I meant. You're both just very ... strong ... confident women who know their minds. And ..and you don't hesitate to speak it. That's not bad thing."

Alya nods sharply to accept the compliment for what it was. I glance back to Nino and wonder what meaning was behind that smile.

"What does Nino say about it?”

“He’s not crazy about her either. He says Adrien does seem to really like her though. I guess a bit before he started dating Kagami he had it pretty bad for some girl but it didn’t seem to work out.” Alya sees my grimace even though I try to turn to hide it. “I’m sorry, girl. I know it’s a sore topic.”

“No, no. Tell me about this other girl,” I say on a sigh.

Her expression remains unsure but she continues. “I guess he had it bad for this first girl. She seemed to be warming up to him but she never wanted to cross that line. He tried to hold out hope but then Kagami started really showing interest in him. She started coming on pretty strong and you know Adrien’s story. He’d never really had someone show him that kind of attention.” Again I fail at hiding my grimace. “Sorry but you know you have never actually told him how you felt. You were always too nervous and tongue tied. The things you did to show him how much you cared he never knew about. Or at least never knew they were from you. Do I have to remind you of the Valentine Day fiasco?”

My lips pull together in a disgruntled pout but I nod my understanding. My head feels heavy and the old hurt flares. I press my forehead into the cool desk to hide from my ghosts and maybe cool my embarrassed flush. My fingers wave circles to let Alya know to continue.

“Anyways,” she says through her concern, “he suddenly had Kagami, this hot girl who he had a lot in common with and who daddy approved of, rubbing up against him. So he gave up on the first girl and focused on Kagami. I don’t know if he’s in love with her or not. He’s such a good guy I think he’d worship her just on principle. It doesn’t help that he has nothing to compare this relationship to so he doesn’t see any of its flaws. Nino and I thought that after a while he would wise up but he seems just as clueless about Kagami as he does about everything else.

“If anyone should understand where he’s coming from it’s you. It’s pretty much the same story you had concerning him. I mean if Luka had…” Realizing she was unintentionally picking at an old wound she stopped short.

I raise my head to look at her in bewilderment. She thought the guy who broke my heart was Luka?

The teacher enters the room and class begins. I have trouble focusing though. While Luka and I would have had such possibilities; our relationship never made it past appreciation. It hurt a little in that I never got to see where it would lead but we were never close enough for him to really hurt me. No, my feelings back then shifted from one blond friend to another.

My friendship with Chat Nior has only deepened over the years but I had started feeling something more after his confession to Marinette about just how deep his feelings for Ladybug were. It made me start looking past his cockiness and immaturity. What I saw floored me. I started to see the vulnerable boy under the mask. His desire to be liked and the extremes he went to achieve it. All of his flirting and showboating was just a cover to express a love he wasn’t sure how to say out loud. I saw just how much he cared about me true but I was also forced to face just how much Adrien didn’t seem to share those feelings.

After I found out about Adrien and Kagami I began spending more time with Chat. We started patrolling more regularly, then sitting and talking after. My luck in love held true, however. I had waited too long to find my feelings for Chat. A misty night patrolling with him had crushed the beginnings of any strong feelings I may have started to develop.


	2. Lasso the Moon

*4 Years Ago*

The sounds of our feet hitting as we run echo off the roof tops. A light rain muffles the sounds of the city below and cools my exertion flushed skin. I feel disconnected from everything but this moment. I let everything else, every worry, drop away. Behind me I sense Chat closing the distance between us. He, too, seems focused. I’m not sure if he’s trying to outrun demons like I am but he definitely seems to be enjoying the run. Neither of us speaks. We communicate instead in sly smiles and gentle elbows. Normally the silence between us is easy and comfortable but tonight for me the silence is charged. I don’t know what makes it different than any other. Maybe it’s just me that’s different. Seeing Adrien with his arm around Kagami, seeing him lean into her as they spoke, it was strangely freeing. I had focused so much of myself on him and the possibility of us that I lost who I was a little. The perfect example was when I went to get ice cream from André’s with my friend’s. I pretty much ruined it for everyone else and akumatized André. All because Adrien hadn’t shown. Now he was getting serious with someone else... and I was free to do the same.

When I mentioned that there was supposed to be a blood moon tonight Chat was more than happy to meet and watch it with me. I had made the offer because he had been the first person I had thought of when I heard about the astronomical event. Afterward though Tikki had mentioned how romantic it all sounded. Us sitting together, shoulder to shoulder, under the stars looking up at the moon.  The idea was put into my head and it was all I could think about. I had agonized about it to Tikki all week as she apologized and tried to soothe me. None of it had helped. Tonight when I left to meet Chat I was jittery and so nervous I felt ill. In an effort to escape my anxiety I had set out with a determination that bordered on recklessness. Chat had spotted me running at top speed toward our spot and a friendly race had ensued.

I can feel Chat gaining and as he passes he steps right in front of me causing me to falter slightly in my pace. He throws a wink over his shoulder and uses his baton to launch himself to a higher rooftop. My body reacts to the challenge in that smirk and pick up my pace. I throw my yoyo to the next building coming up and swing forward to regain the lead. Just to show off I pivot and begin running backwards. It slows me down a little but my swing gave me enough of a lead to make the risk worth the fun. I laugh as he rolls his eyes. In my merriment I almost miss the way he focuses in on me with a renewed vigor. His speed picks up and I know he is no longer racing but instead going in for the kill. His lips quirk as I yelp and try to spin back around. Too late. Strong arms reach around me. My feet leave the ground. He slides to a stop with me struggling to get loose to no avail. That’s when the torture starts.

His fingers dance along my sides, digging in just enough to cause me to break out in shrill, chocking laughter. I struggle to get away but that only opens up my neck to his assault. Claws delicately tickle along the sides of my neck and behind my ears dragging an unladylike snort and hooting. I manage to break his hold but fall forward without his support. As he’s dragging me back by the ankle his fingers rack behind my knee causing all sorts of howling on my part. His giggles join mine as he finds my new ticklish spot. He sits down on my thighs, facing my feet, to trap them and fully inspects this new area. Luckily, his tail swishes into view beside my head. I grab it giving a good jerk. He’s not expecting the sudden shift in his weight and corrects the fall by rolling backwards and bouncing into a standing position. I’m on my feet instantly facing him. My finger points at him and my head shakes slowly to let him know I was done playing. Beside us the moon suddenly breaks free of the clouds.

A full red moon hangs in a frame of wispy clouds. Clear cold stars contrast with the deep rich color of the moon within the frame. The Seine flows below it like glass reflecting the moment back to itself. Mist crawls along the edges of the river enveloping the city. Street lights reflect on wet sidewalks but appear hazy through the mist. The city glows like a half forgotten dream with only the moon above holding any true permanence. Well the moon and the dark figure next to me.

“Wow my lady…that is a once in a life time view. I’ve never seen the moon look so large and low. It’s like I could reach out and pull it down.” He turns to me with a roguish grin. “What do you say? Shall I lasso the moon for you, my lady?” Our eyes meet and hold.

I know he meant it in fun, quoting from an old Christmas movie we watched together, but something shifts in me in that moment. I could have blamed Tikki for putting the romantic ideas in my head. I could have blamed the beauty and intimacy of the night. I could have blamed my loneliness and heartache over missing my chance with Adrien. The truth is my feelings have always been there for Chat. He was my best friend. He made me laugh. He made me a better, stronger, kinder person. Seeing him stand there focused on me with such sincerity opens what I had shut up tight. A warm feeling rushes down my body. My skin tingles and suddenly feels tight. My head swims. I realize how in love with him I actually am. I watch as the smile melts off his face replaced by a curious expression tinged with hope. I’m not sure what he sees but whatever it is makes him take a step toward me and his next word breathless.

“…ladybug?”

I close the distance between us but hesitate just before we touch. My body tightening until I quiver like a bow string. Uncertainty fills me. Old insecurities hold me back. What if I am misreading everything? What if everyone was wrong and Chat wasn’t in love with Ladybug? What if he was just a flirt and I was a challenge? Our bodies just barely brush and I feel the tension in me build. I don’t know how much more I can stand without combusting. A hot, searing flush creeps up my neck and across my face making the cool air turn muggy and oppressive. My breathing is shallow and labored and I know Chat sees it. I watch his eye lids drift a little lower as he watches me. I see his adam’s apple bob with a thick swallow. I can see his pulse thrumming on the side of his neck. He doesn’t look like someone who doesn’t care.

My hands reach up and cover his chest. Now I can feel just how fast his heart is beating. I watch as his eyes glow and become intense. Desire storms in them dark and frightening. His hands lift to my hips as I lean up. I see his chin tuck to meet my lips half way. His hands tighten on me but instead of pulling me in they push me back. His head drops down and turns to the side effectively blocking any chance of my kissing him. His eyes squeeze shut like he’s in pain.

“Ladybug….” This time there is only resignation and regret in his voice.

He’s rejecting me. It hits me hard. He doesn’t want me to kiss him. He must not feel what I do. At least he doesn’t feel it any more. My breath stops at the realization. I dismissed his feelings too many times. My eyes catch his and I see it. He’s moved on.

Damn.

Emotions surge through me. Hurt at the rejection. Stupidity at not seeing his change in feelings earlier. Anger at Adrien for all the time I wasted on him. Helplessness at my vulnerability exposed. I can feel my control slip. I need to get out of here. I bolt away from him nearly landing on my butt. He reaches for my elbow to steady me but I twist to escape his efforts. The movement corrects my trajectory enough to keep me on my feet. I use the jerky movement to put more distance between us as words just start pouring out of my mouth.

“I’msosorry.Ididn’tmeantodothat.Iwasn’tthinking.Justforgetthiseverhappened.I have…” a sob cuts me off and I run.

I don’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok if I'm telling the truth Marichat is my favorite of the square. Their both just so sassy with each other. I figure though if Ladybug is starting to feel warm and fuzzy toward her kitty then the Ladynoir relationship would be similar right? Just love them so I had to throw a little bit of them in here too. Hopefully you liked it.


	3. It's All History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so long in update. Summer months hold more distractions so updates will pick up once school starts back up. I added this chapter after responding to lightbluewisp being curious about Ladybug and Chat Noir's current relationship. I thought it would be a cute, complicated interaction and I wanted to add more to Adrien's feelings for the women in his life. Hopefully, it adds something to the story.

*Now*

I’m surrounded by beauty.

When things get bad I love finding a perch on the Eiffel Tower during the darkle. The last sparkle light show on the Eiffel Tower, when all the other lights are turned off, is magical. It feels like the world is made of glittering, golden color. Nothing else exists but that light. I close my eyes and loose myself in the rhythm of the flashes. Tension melts from my body. I let go of all my worries. My mind drifts among the shimmering chaos focusing on nothing and everything at once. The world is quiet this far up and there is nothing to distract me from my meditations. That is until the world goes dark.

Leaving my eyes closed to help my feline vision adjust quicker, I sigh into the blackness. Those serene five minutes go quickly and I’m left feeling just as empty as when I arrived. Everything from today comes rushing in to replace my serenity. Maybe it’s time I just went home. My eyes open to stars. It’s striking but too cold and distant to affect me like the light show did. Before I can gather myself to leave, a streak of red catches my eye. I trace the roof tops but can’t locate her. Sensitive ears catch the soft creak of her yoyo though and I’m able to turn in time to see Ladybug’s complicated series of flips before she lands beside me with a flourish.

“Thank you, thank you.” She bows and waves to an invisible crowd before pivoting gracefully toward me. “Oh! Chat! I didn’t see you there.” Her beaming smile gives her away. “Did you see my landing? It was spot on.”

“Don’t steal my puns, lady!” I groan. “It’s all I have!” The truth of the comment hits me and my smile falls flat. “Stop standing over me scowling. Sit!” I pat next to me.

She stands, hands on hips, head tilted with a frowny pout. I can see those wheels turning in her clever little head and stop her before she can ask anything.

“Please, Ladybug. Please sit with me.”

My misery leaks into my words more than I meant. It has the desired effect though, her hands drop and her shoulders soften. Her weight shifts from foot to foot before she slips in beside me and pulls her legs close to her chest. It draws out a softer, more genuine smile on my face as I look down on her. Bright bluebell eyes meet mine. They shine with a sweet happiness that I don’t deserve. It fills me more than the flashing lights ever could. My mind clears. My heart steadies. Without realizing it my arm wraps around her back. Muscles tense under my fingertips bringing me back to my senses. I pull away with a snap and turn away to face the city again. A dejected sigh tugs at my attention but I can’t bring myself to face her again.

We sit quietly looking out over the city; a city that seems as far away as the stars. It pulls away all the warmth I felt just a moment ago. It leaves me feeling hollow again. Lonely. I could probably stay up here and if I didn’t have work for my father no would notice I was gone. My father wouldn’t. Nathalie and Gorilla wouldn’t. Chloé would notice but only if she needed something. Nino would notice eventually, if he wasn’t too distracted by Alya. Marinette might notice but probably would figure I was MIA again.

Would Kagami notice? I can’t really say if she would or not. The conversation between my friends earlier makes me question things. I hadn’t meant to overhear Marinette and Alya talking behind me. It’s just the curse of my enhanced Chat hearing. As much as I tried to focus on Nino talking about his new DJ opportunity their conversation held my attention. They didn’t like Kagami. They thought she was overbearing. Even selfish maybe. It made me think about us. I’m usually the one who sets up dates or texts first or seeks her out. To be fair though I rarely give her the chance to make the first move. Maybe Alya was right. I do things for Kagami on principle…not love. That’s not what drove me up her though.

Marinette.

She wants me to see her as more than a friend…or at least she used to. Could I see her that way? I look over at ladybug. She still sits close by but her head is tilted up and her eyes are closed. Lost in her own head. Her own thoughts. She would notice if I was gone. Well, if Chat Noir was gone. She would notice and move heaven and earth to find me. My ladybug would miss me for sure. For so long she has meant so much to me. If I wasn’t with Kagami wouldn’t I try to be with ladybug? Wouldn’t she be the first person I turned to?

“Stop staring Kitty, you’ll give me a complex.” She scoots closer to me but only to deliver a boney elbow into my ribs.

I hiss at the sharp pain and grab the arm digging into my side. Instead of pushing her away like she expected though I hold her close. Close enough to allow my other claw to sneak around and reach her ticklish areas. After all these years I know every sensitive spot.

“Stop! Stop! I give up!”  She squeals and twists to try and escape but I don’t let up.

Her laugher makes my mind drift to another time her laughter surrounded me. A time when her lips parted and drifted close to mine. A time when I made the biggest mistake of my life. I hurt her. Worse than that I let her leave without explaining what was going on. I stood watching as tears streaked down her face and her chin trembled and she literally turned and ran from me. I fell so hard for Kagami that I turned my back on a girl I had sworn total devotion to. If I was beginning to doubt those feeling for Kagami how could I ever consider anyone but Ladybug. Even if it’s Marinette.

Guilt swells in me and when Ladybug tries to scoot away I let her escape. She turns triumphantly but smothers her gloating when she sees my mood.

“What’s bugging you kitty?” Her grin is wicked. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

I roll my eyes at her. Is this what she has to put up with from me?

“I’m sorry if it seems like I’m not being serious,” her hand wraps around my wrist as she comes close, “I was just trying to make you smile.”

How can I resist those eyes? Deep pools illuminated by moonlight. Drowning me in regret… and longing. My hand reaches out to her cheek. Fingertips trace smooth, warm skin. Following it back into dark hair. She shivers under my touch and I desperately need her. I want to feel. I want to know without doubt someone loves me. I want to love someone and have them return it. My hand grips her head and my lips reach for hers.

Hungry.

Desperate.

“No.”

Her words stop me cold. My lips not quite touching hers. Her breaths coming short and quick against my skin. Her whole body ridged. What am I doing? I shoot away from her trying to give her space.

“I’m so, so sorry. I have…”

“No, no, no. You’re fine I was just…”

“…no excuse. I should have never tried to…”

“…surprised. I thought you were…”

“…kiss you without your permission. I…”

“…with someone.”

“…Damn.”

My hand grips the back of my neck. A sudden migraine making my head pound. I hold up both hands to stop us from talking over each other.

“Listen, ladybug I am sorry. No matter what, I should have never put you in that position. Especially, after…,” my eyes hold hers for a second before focusing on the city below, “everything. I am with someone and…”

What could I possibly say?

“I’m with someone and my actions aren’t fair to anyone. I was being selfish. And presumptuous. And...” I push off the iron beam to stand, “I’m confused and dragging you into my drama. I’m sorry.”

Silence hangs thick between us. I chance looking at Ladybug. She's all eyes. Her mouth pulled into a taunt line. She holds my gaze blandly for a beat longer before breaking the silence.

"It's okay. It's all history."

I can’t read the expression. It’s killing me to know what she’s thinking. Is she angry? Disappointed?

I can’t ask. I have already imposed on her more than I should. I need to figure out how I feel before I do anything else.

“I’m going to head home. Thanks for sitting with me. Night.” I yell over my shoulder as I push off with my staff. I don’t give her a chance to respond.

I race home without looking where I’m going, too caught up in berating my own stupidity. Before I know it I’m flying through my bedroom window and calling for the transformation release in one smooth motion. Plagg doesn’t even pause to rib me about my behavior before burying himself in Camembert cheese on the coffee table. I follow behind in the dark, not needing the light to see, and fling myself face first on my sofa. I consider screaming my frustration into the white leather when I hear a sound. I look up and see Plagg’s tail flicking out of the cheese container. I look around and movement draws my attention to my desk. My desk chair spins lazily on its own. I look around but the room is empty. I pad over to the desk but nothing looks disturbed. Was someone in my room just now? I go to my door and open it into the silent void of my home.

No sounds greet me. No movement. Only grave stillness. The door slides closed without a sound. I wouldn’t have heard if someone had closed it when I entered. Maybe there wasn’t anyone. Maybe Plagg hit the chair as he searched for cheese. Maybe I’m just piling on to distract myself. With viciousness, I rip off my shirt and change into sleep shorts. Feeling foolish and self-destructive I crawl across the bed pulling blankets over my head.

I need to get my act together.


	4. Here comes the train, all aboard!

Saturday Alya and I find ourselves standing in front of my bedroom mirror in the most ridiculous outfits I had ever seen. Alya’s hands fix the collar of her white crop top that is skin tight and just barely comes down enough to cover her bra. She loosens a hot pink tie and pulls it over her head; adjusting it under the collar until it falls over her bare midriff. She wiggles her hips and tugs up a pair of bright orange hot pants making them sit just a little higher up. She turns inspecting the way her butt cheeks now peak out of the bottom. A sly smile tugs up her lips. She leans closer to fix the two braids framing the top of her head and catches my eyes in the mirror.

“Do you think the boots are too much?”

“Knee high boots with fringe? What’s over the top about that?”

“At least they’re a soft lilac color.”

“Yeah …” I say giving her the side eye. She just laughs and pivots back and forth in place making the fringe flick and sway.

Before I realize what’s happening she grabs onto my hand and twirls me. As I face back around an undignified squeak leaves me when she dips me low. The momentum of the movement causes the strap of the electric blue bikini top I’m wearing to loosen and come undone. Alya’s eyes widen as she holds me in the air then start to drift down. My squeak hits an even higher pitch and my hands shoot up to keep from total exposure. With a toothy grin at my modesty she swings me back upright, twirling me until I’m facing away from her in one quick motion.

“Glad that happened here and not at the club. Unless that was what you were going for,” She giggles to herself as she ties my straps again.

My head feels light and anxiety starts clawing at me. “Har har. I think I have enough skin showing don’t you?” I catch her eye in the mirror and she winks at me. “I’m serious. I’m not sure I can wear this out.”

A small frown pulls her face downward and her hands rest on her hips. She is still behind me as we both face the mirror so I see her clearly looking over my outfit. I had chosen the bikini to complement my eyes and accentuate my body. Under the black light my skin would appear dark but my best bits would glow drawing everyone’s eye to them. Once on though I had tried to temper the amount of skin showing by wrapping hot pink ribbon around my body and down each leg. My plan backfired. The addition only increased the seductive quality of the outfit. As a last ditch effort, I threw on a tutu where each ruffle is a different shade of neon to give the design a bit of whimsy. Still, it all seems like it’s too much…or not enough. Adding more layers at this point would just look silly though and a new outfit would take too long.

Alya sighs as she starts fussing over the pins in my hair making sure none had come loose. She had pulled my hair into a high ponytail with the top section teased to resemble a Mohawk. She had then spent ten minutes pinning small yellow stars throughout. She had said that the effect on my hair should look like the night sky under the black lights. She seems to collect her thoughts before meeting my gaze in the mirror again.

“Listen it looks bad now because we stand out. We’re in your bedroom with a lot of light and look out of place. Once we get to the club though our outfits will fit right in and probably be tame in comparison.” She comes around to stand in front of me. Her eyes are soft when she continues, “If when we get there you still feel uncomfortable we can leave. No questions asked. No matter what. Me and you are gone. Okay?”

How can I say no to that? “Okay.”

But then another problem pops into my head. “How are we going to get past my parents looking like this?” Sure being eighteen should mean more freedom but I can’t help and feel like this was pushing it. Alya had already thought of this apparently because she suddenly threw a trench coat at me.

“Just follow my lead and keep quiet.”

We get down the stairs without making any noise and she carefully opens the front door. Then she grabs my arm and practically throws me out before ducking out herself. She leans her head back in and starts rattling off our plans to my parents in the other room.

“Hey! We’re heading out! Sorry we’re running late! We’ll be back by curfew! Bye, Love You!”

We take off running through the bakery and out the front door, clutching at each other and laughing as we went. We bust out of the door and almost fall face first on the sidewalk. Luckily, our awkwardness worked in tandem to keep us on our feet.

“Hey there lovely ladies! Need a ride?”

We both turn to find Adrien a little up the street waiting for us. He’s leaning against a Taxi with his long legs crossed at the ankle. He pushes off to stand in all his glory as we walk toward him, arm in arm. My breath catches. I drop my eyes to the pavement but the image of him is already burned into my brain. A neon green mesh tank in real life does more for him than any shirtless magazine spread I have yet to see. He’s always been lithe but over the years his shoulders and arms had filled out with tightly packed muscle. Glimpses of his abdominal muscles are visible through the shirt which falls just to the top of white, form fitting pants. Geez the way those pants clung to his thighs are going to get me in trouble if I’m not careful. Damn if that train wasn't coming back to the station just to spite me. I squeeze my eyes closed and let Alya pull me along as I try and distract myself.

He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend and I no longer like him. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend and I’m only a friend. Only a friend. Only a friend. We’re only friends.

Alya woof whistles and my eyes pop open in surprise.

“We need to take you out more often Adrien! Shit son! I had no idea you clean up so sexy.”

His cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink as he lifts an arm to scratch behind his neck. The movement making his bicep pop and his shoulder flex. Swallowing becomes a struggle.

Alya looks at me meaningfully with a smirk and eyes that make me realize she’s up to something. “Mari it’s too hot for these coats. Take yours off and I’ll throw them in my car before we go.”

I stare her down. “I’m a little chilly. I think I’ll keep it on.”

She laughs and starts tugging at the buttons. “Nonsense. We’re getting in the cab which will be warm and then you know the club is going to be hot with all those people. Then you’ll be dancing and the coat will only get in the way. Off. Now.”

She knows that by arguing with her I’m only drawing attention to what I’m trying to hide. I bite the inside of my cheeks and stiffly remove the coat, keeping eye contact with her the entire time. I pour as much venom and murder as I can into the silent exchange. Finally I thrust the coat at her. She only cackles and sprints across the street. I glare after her for a second. How long can I delay looking at Adrien before it gets weird? I let out a slow breath I had been holding and look at Adrien out of the corner of my eye. I watch as his eyes drift down my body a little too slowly to be considered polite. The shock of seeing him blatantly checking me out causes me to turn sharply toward him. His attention snaps up to my face guiltily then straight to the ground.

Holy Hell!!!! Was Adrien just checking me out?!


	5. Are we there yet?

Over the years I’ve become really good friends with Marinette. When Nino and Alya started dating they would invite us along as a bit of a buffer. I had always liked Marinette though so I didn’t mind. It was nice not to have Nino drift away in order to hang out with Alya but I also got to see just what an amazing person Marinette truly is. When I first met her it sucked being on the wrong end of her anger but I was able to see what a strong person she was. She didn’t let Chloé walk all over her which I know from firsthand experience is hard to do. Besides that she held me accountable for what she thought was my part in putting gum on her seat, something that can be hard to do when the person in question is the son of your idol. Despite what she believed though she still listened to my side of things with an open mind and accepted it with grace. She became one of my favorite people and I love being friends with her.

She never really seemed to warm up to me though. She was always super nice when we were together but she seemed to always want to be somewhere else. Once when I offered her a ride home after we bumped into each other she muttered some excuse that didn’t make much since and declined. Plus, she seemed awkward with me when she was confident with everyone else. She would sputter and cut the conversation short if she talked to me at all. She slowly got better about talking to me but I usually had to be the one to instigate the conversations. She was worth it though. I would do anything for her. For Alya and Nino too but especially her. I knew she was special since that first day in the rain. I never wanted to ruin what we had. Maybe that’s why overhearing Alya and her talking about how she used to feel about me was such a shock. I never let myself feel something because I never thought she may feel something in return. And now...seeing her standing there on the curb watching Alya run to her car. I realize there's something there already. I realize I haven't closed myself off from the idea as completely as I thought. I also notice she's breathtaking. It shakes me to my core.

I had never really looked at Marinette as anything but my best friend. It was like knowing Nino was a good looking guy but it just didn’t do anything for me. The same was true for her, I knew she was pretty but never had I imagined her like she looked now. Her pale skin seems to glow in the street lights and there is a lot of it. The pink ribbon wrapping around her body highlights every delicate curve. The desire to touch her makes my fingers twitch and my legs feel like they are going to give out. She turns to face me catching me looking her over. I rip my gaze to her face but see her eyes wide and a dark flush traveling from her face down toward her surprisingly full…Shit!

Guilt smacks into me and I focus on the sidewalk under my feet. I can’t believe I’m ogling her like this. God she must feel so uncomfortable. What was wrong with me? Would she be affecting me this way if I didn't think I still had a chance with her? Damn what would Kagami think? Should I say something to her? What do I say to Marinette? Shit. What about Ladybug? This is all too much. I need to get my shit together. Do I just play this off? Do I apologize? Should I even be with Kagami if I’m feeling this way about other people? Especially if that someone is Marinette…

Marinette.

I look back up at her. She’s turned away slightly to look for Alya. I can tell she’s feeling uncomfortable. She stands with her feet crossed and an arm is held tightly across her middle to grip her opposite elbow while she chews the thumbnail of that hand. I hate that I made her feel like this. What can I do to correct this?

I shift on my feet for a second and clear my throat. “Uh…Ma”

I don’t think she even hears me when I’m cut short.

“Sorry guys ready to go?” Alya bounds up to the cab and climbs in the front seat.

I miss my chance to apologize and now I’m going to be in the back seat with Marinette. Alone. In the dark. Can this get any more uncomfortable?

                                    _______________

 

Adrien opens the rear door and I slide in to make room for him. Alya throws a smirk and a raised eyebrow over her shoulder at me. I stare her down and run my extended thumb across my neck. She just giggles and faces front. The cab is a smaller model and I have to watch to not brush against Adrien as we buckle and settle in. Once the car starts moving I watch him out of the corner of my eye. Lights flicker and fade across his face as we drive. He has no right to be so beautiful. He glances over and catches me watching him. I try to flick my gaze to the window but I know he saw me.

My eyes drag back to his and I wrench a self-conscious smile to apologize. It doesn’t seem to help the tension between us. In fact it seems to make it worse. Adrien is visibly uncomfortable. It’s not the first time he’s caught me staring so why is he acting almost nervous. Is he embarrassed that I saw him checking me out? It’s not like he put the moves on me or anything. Besides when he gets embarrassed he usually just withdraws. Right now he’s acting jumpy. His right hand starts to tap the armrest and the ring on his finger clicks against the plastic. What is getting to him? I watch as his leg starts to bounce, too. His eyes shift restlessly to mine then back to the window. His whole body is practically vibrating. Geez what is wrong with him? The nervous little sounds of him biting his thumbnail finally make me snap.

I reach over and grab his tapping hand and push my arm down on his legs to still them as my other hand pulls his nail out of his mouth. His eyes focus on mine and I feel the irritation drain from me. His body goes still against mine. The cab is too dark to really see his expression but his eyes almost seem to glow. He stares at me like he can see me just fine. I feel my frown soften and my lips part as I hear him swallow. It’s then I realize how close I am to him. How much bare skin is touching. Is this why he was nervous before? Because of me? Because of how I was dressed? Because of how I looked dressed like this? Surely not. I’m leaning so far over to reach his opposite hand that I’m practically in his lap. I can feel the heat from his body.

He slowly turns to face me directly and I feel his breath. It smells like mint. I feel my heart go erratic and my breathing joins in. This creates a problem because my thinly covered breast brushes against his arm with each ragged breath I drag in and force out. My nipples harden at the contact and Adrien makes a harsh noise in the back of his throat. Damn him for noticing. Damn him for waiting all these years to treat me like a woman. Damn him for drawing these feelings out of me that I had buried. Those strange luminous eyes drift down to my mouth and I’m overcome by déjà vu. The shock of it draws me back to my side of the cab.

I can’t see his reaction but I notice his eyes don’t appear bright any longer. Those glowing eyes…am I just seeing what I want to see? Chat’s rejection of me had changed how I saw myself. I had grown a lot afterward but I still held those feelings. He was my partner though and I had to make peace with my realization. Instead of pining I had locked it all up again. Was I just transferring all of that on to Adrien? Was that what this was? I don’t think so but I can’t be sure. Those eyes in the dark; they spoke to me. I just couldn’t decide who was doing the speaking.

I turn and focus my attention on the world as it rushes past but I still am too aware of Adrien next to me. I can feel his anxiety rolling off him. What is he thinking about? Is it about me? Is he just attracted or does he have feelings after all this time? What about Kagami? Did I just imagine his reaction? Geez, I thought I had made it to a place where I didn’t hope for the impossible anymore. I hear Adrien shift uncomfortably next to me. The possible cause of his adjustment brings a new rush of warmth through my body. Damn him and damn that train making a comeback.


	6. Opened Doors

We finally pull up to the club and I release a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding. The building looks like a basic office building. There’s a parking lot full of cars off to the side but I don’t see anyone. No one but a very large man in front of typical glass office doors. Adrien practically jumps out of the cab. He gets a few steps before he seems to realize how he looks. Dragging to a stop he hesitates before turning back to open Alya’s door and hold the door open for me. Alya throws me a toothy grin before she steps out. Adrien’s eyes remain stubbornly fixed on the sidewalk as I slide to the open door. The cab is parked just far enough from the curb that it is awkward for me to try and step out. It doesn’t help matters that I am wearing white platform stilettos. I grab onto the side of the door to give myself leverage when I see Adrien’s hand before me.

I look up into his face as my hand slides into his. That glow in his eyes is back but his face looks bored. My eyes stay locked on his as my fingertips brush along the inside of his fingers to his palm. The skin to skin contact makes my nerve endings tingle and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. There’s a buzz between us as I brace my feet and let him pull me out of the cab. He’s stronger than he looks and pulls me up with no difficulty. When he reached for me he had to step close to the curb. This leaves very little room between the curb and his much larger body. As I get to my feet I end up flush against him. The tension that has been strumming between us suddenly spikes.

My heartbeat goes wild and I feel like I’m going to combust. He seems to have the exact opposite reaction to our proximity. His nerves from before have compressed to a solid wall. He stands ridged in front of me and watches me with hooded, cool green eyes. I can’t read him. Is he irritated at my invasion of his space? Is he just being polite so I don’t feel awkward? A rebellious part of me flares. I will draw some kind of reaction out of him. Without really thinking I arch my back and press my body into his a little more. I hear an audible click as he tries to swallow and his eyes bore into mine.

Someone clears their throat behind us loudly.

Adrien recoils. He still had my hand though and the loss of support in the front with the slight tug on my hand made me over correct backward to stay upright. I step back and my heel goes over the edge of the curb. The backward motion makes it impossible for me to save myself. My hand is ripped from Adrien’s as I fight to balance but it’s useless and I fall back. I am stopped midair by a strong arm around my waist. Before I can even register what has happed I am swung further from the curb and plopped unceremoniously on my feet. I look up at Adrien but he has turned his back on me. He swings the door to the cab closed with an apology to the driver but still doesn’t face me.

“Any time guys,” Alya laughs over her shoulder.

She walks up to the guard at the office building and holds up her bracelet. He flashes a hand held black light at it and motions her inside. She waves for us to hurry and walks in.

Adrien looks over his shoulder at the office building and walks right past me to follow Alya. I stand for a second trying to tap down my seething emotions. I don’t know which is worse feeling this attraction to him or thinking he feels the same only to have him dismiss me. I enjoy the feel of the cool breeze across my heated skin for a few more seconds before I follow Alya and Adrien.

When I turn toward the building I see Adrien standing there with the door open but he looks everywhere but me. Why does he have to be so hot and cold? I check in with the guard and move inside. Adrien’s eyes catch mine just as I enter. He looks so unsure that I can’t hold back a grateful smile. He just blushes and shrugs, following behind me into the main lobby.

The building is pretty unremarkable when we enter. Fluorescent lights flicker over doors lining either side of a wide hallway leading down to two elevator doors. One in particular glows with several different colors in the dim light. Alya is nowhere to be seen. She must have already figured out where the club was.

“I guess that’s the entrance.” Adrien indicates the door with a jerk of his head.

“What gave it away?”  I poke him in the ribs as I walk away.  

I tap on the call button and feel Adrien come up beside me. This close to the elevator I can hear the faint sound of bass from above.

“Alya sure took off fast. Didn’t even wait to ride the elevator with us.”

I just shrug, “It doesn’t surprise me that she didn’t. She’s not a leisurely walk, take in the atmosphere, kind of person. Besides I know she was itching to see Nino before he went up to DJ.”

We don’t wait long before the doors open with a ding. More designs are glowing along the walls but that seems to be the only light source in the space. I hesitate to be in such a dim confined space.

I can feel Adrien’s smirk. “After you, princess.”

The term of endearment makes me stop short and hits an already raw nerve. I jerk my eyes over to Adrien’s and see his green eyes widen slightly. Like Manon when I catch her sneaking sweets from the bakery. I watch him for just a second longer but that damn poker face slams down and I can no longer read him. I turn sharply and enter the cab trying to bury a suspicion that is snowballing out of control. 

                                    _______________

 

I follow Marinette into the elevator and see that the top floor button glows hot pink.

“11th floor it is.”

I hit the button and move a comfortable distance away from Marinette who’s brooding in the corner. I slipped up calling her princess. I blame this damn thing between us tonight. It’s putting me on edge and making me reckless. It’s not the first time I’ve slipped with the nickname but usually she just over looks it. Tonight though, with everything that has happened, she’s on edge. The way she looked at me in the cab on the ride over. She saw Chat for a moment. Now calling her by Chat’s nickname for her, I’ve really dug myself a hole. I never have had trouble separating myself from my alter ego before. I don’t know why tonight is any different. Something about Marinette is tugging at me like a lost memory. I just can’t place it.

I’m trying to think of a way of deflecting her thoughts when I hear her clear her throat.

“Adrien, if you don’t mind me asking,” dread fills me and I try to hear her over the sudden buzzing in my ears, “Why do you have callouses only on your thumb and index finger?”

I suddenly feel like my head is floating and release an airy chuckle. That was NOT what I thought she was going to ask. I look over at her but she just watches the numbers above to door slowly light up and go out.

Did I just overreact? Has tonight all been in my head? Man, no matter what the answer is I dodged a bullet.

“I only have them on my right hand. They’re from fencing. My dad has always bought the best gloves available to use, which has helped, but he makes me practice. A lot. So the pad of my thumb and the outer edge of my index figure has gotten a little rough over the years. You should see my feet.” Feeling suddenly jubilant at my good luck I turn and wink at her, “I could never be a foot model.”

Her eyes meet mine and she gives me an easy grin. “Oh, I’m well aware. I’ve seen you at the pool.”

My head is thrown back with the force of my laughter; there’s an almost giddy quality to it. Her barb catches me off guard and lightens my mood further. I move closer and shove her shoulder gently making her giggle.

The elevator door opens and we walk out. The discomfort and tension of the last hour is left behind in the elevator.


	7. Finding Home

We walk into chaos.

Rippling blue light rolls around us as if we had entered an undersea kingdom. There is nothing tranquil about this ocean though. A seething sea of glowing bodies dances in the center of a sunken dance floor. Bubbles shine an eerie blue as they float above them and mingle with fluorescent fish near the ceiling. Low seating, teeming with people, overlook the dance floor. The air is humid and stinks of a million different odors. Even at the entrance unknown bodies push and brush against me. Upbeat techno music vibrates the air making normal conversation nearly impossible.

I see Alya’s fiery red hair, enhanced by the orange gel we streaked through the strands, standing next to a very large man. I try to yell at Adrien but the music drowns my words. Instead, I grab his hand braving that tingling electricity that travels deep into my body. His eyes reach mine and reflect back at me like a cat’s. I’m momentarily stunned. Why can’t I suddenly get Chat out of my head? Being this close to Adrien is hard enough without me confusing it more with my deeper feelings for Chat. I steel myself and jerk my head in Alya’s direction. He nods but keeps hold of my hand. I’m dragged close behind him as he moves through the crowd.

We arrive to see a self-satisfied grin on Alya’s face. Nino suddenly appears from the darkness with a toothy grin of us own. He points up and disappears again. Alya holds up her bracelet to the large bouncer to scan and stands with a hand pointing into the darkness. As we approach a set of stairs glow green and blue behind a black wall. That’s where the VIP area must be. I glance around. There is a mezzanine above but it’s enclosed and the black walls make it blend in and hard to notice.

We scan our bracelets too and go to ascend the stairs. Adrien seems to notice for the first time that he’s still holding my hand. He looks back at me with waves of ocean light caressing his features. It’s then I notice a band of red like a mask starting at Adrien’s temple, crossing his eyes and ending at the other temple. The make-up must be designed to only show up under black light because there was no trace of it before. Cat green eyes burn behind the mask and my throat closes up. He’s completely unreadable as his thumb skims over my knuckles. Then he just releases my hand and bounds up the stairs after Nino. I turn a questioning look to Alya still feeling the sting of Adrien’s eyes.

It’s then I realize how much her make-up looks like her alter ego, Rena Rouge. Orange paint coats her upper lids and white coats the lower lash line. It flicks down at the inner corners of her eyes then flicks up at the outer corners. Even her braided hair looked like ears under the lights. I wonder if she did that on purpose. Glowing red lips are pulled down into a frown as she glares at Adrien’s back. I give her a shrug and we carefully make our way up to a black wall with a shining yellow knob floating in the vastness.

                                    _______________

 

I easily catch up to Nino at the top of the stairs as he jerks on a knob and a door opens. The noise level drops considerably as the door swings closed behind us. On the right is another black door with an ‘employees only’ sign. On the left is a glass door that looks into a glittering water wonderland. Blue curtains flow along the wall from floor to ceiling. Wave projectors make it look like the curtains have water flowing along their surface. White sofas line three walls with clear tables sitting in front of each. Cool greens and pinks and purples and blues spotlight glittering glassware on the tables. Gauzy, sparkling jellyfish hang from the ceiling. The fourth wall is entirely glass and overlooks the dance floor.

“Soooooo….” Nino gives me a wolfish grin, “Having fun?”

I feel my mouth tighten and I quirk an eyebrow at him. “Yeah considering we just got here.”

“You had a pretty good hold on Marinette’s hand just a second ago.”

Leave it to Nino to get right to it.

“I felt several people tug on her while we were walking over. I didn’t want her to get separated.” I force my face into a bland expression and casually hold his gaze.

“You know Alya has been with you guys all night right?” His eyes challenge me to continue to dismiss what he was suggesting.

My mind flashes back to the image of Marinette at the bottom of the stairs just a second ago. Her small hand sending unsettling shivers along my skin draws my attention to her face. Her once natural makeup suddenly glows bright under the black light. The slant of her eyes exaggerated with bright orange make-up making already bright blue eyes stand out. Her lips are painted a glowing red to resemble an artificial pout. The freckles scattered across her nose and checks highlighted to look like glitter. In that moment I had wanted to kiss her. In that moment it had taken everything in me to turn around and run. No I couldn’t dismiss the fact that I was developing a thing for Marinette.

“What do I do Nino?” I feel defeated and hang my head.

Caught off guard Nino is speechless for a second, just enough time for the girls to come through the door and practically knock us over. It takes a few seconds of tangled limbs and stepped on toes and shifting around before we’re all standing comfortably on the landing. Nino holds my gaze a second before clapping his hands together sharply. The girls jump a little but he just chuckles.

“Ok! Welcome to the VIP Lounge. As you can see it’s not that crowded but there are other people so sit anywhere that doesn’t say reserved. There are attendants in the lounge to bring whatever drinks you need. On the house.” Alya claps and jumps in place. Nino winks at her before continuing, “I have to go on in about an hour but I can hang out before then. If you want drinks while you dance you do have to wait in line down there but just flash the bracelet when you order and those will be on the house as well. If you don’t want to wait in line just head back up here and they’ll take care of you. On that note I’m gonna go get a drink.”

He extends his arm to Alya who slides in close to him and they go through the glass doors. I hesitate and go to hold Marinette back but she has already gone through the door too. I stand watching Marinette walk away from me. I feel a twinge I’ve never felt before. I don’t like it. It feels like she is taking a part of me with her as she leaves. Watching the steady swing of her hips I feel an irresistible tug to follow. A tug I have only really felt with ladybug. I made a mistake turning away Ladybug all those years ago. Letting her love slip through my fingers. Complicating things to a point where I'm not even sure how she feels now. Marinette on the other hand is a new beginning. I have always been able to rely on her as a friend but now I see she reaches a place only Ladybug had before. She feels like home. Like Hope. My feet move to follow after her but before I take a step I hit a wall.

Kagami.

I'm still with Kagami. I am with someone who I have said I loved for years. Someone I felt like I did love. But what do I really know about it? It's a concept warped and skewed by the way I grew up. I was treated like a trophy; admired and praised but left behind glass. The few people who did interact with me on a more personal level did so for their own advantage. Maybe that’s why when Kagami befriended me I was so struck by her. She never treated me with kid gloves. She talked to me like she was interested in me. Not my name. Not what I could do for her by association. She wanted to know me. It was hard not to become enamored by her. She made me feel like I mattered. It also helped that she came from a similar background. High expectations. Strict rules. Very little privacy. We could be ourselves with each other without fear of the repercussions. It was intoxicating.

I fell hard and fast.

Was I being myself with Kagami though? Over the past few days, I have been asking myself this. Did I truly love her and am I smothering some parts of my Chat persona simply because it seemed to annoy her. More and more I feel like I am just trying to fill a role for her. Playing a part just like I have done my whole life. All these years I have been the doting boyfriend. Never allowing myself to see past her. Wanting to protect her. Never wanting her to feel the disinterest I have experienced my whole life. Was I going to turn my back on all that and hurt her now? I can't help the image of Kagami frowning at my puns slipping into my thoughts. Her rolling her eyes at my theatrics. Being around Marinette tonight, I realize she laughs at my playful side. How, in her absurd moments, she joins in and takes my clowning to the next level.

No. I can't make any decisions tonight without speaking with Kagami first. She deserves that much. After my almost slip with Ladybug and now my feelings for Marinette; I can't keep pretending that everything is okay. Warmth feels me as I consider Marinette. I pull out my phone and text Kagami.

_‘I need to see you as soon as you have some time.’_

I put my phone away and grab the glass door. Marinette’s eyes meet mine as I swing it open.

Suddenly, I feel like I’m walking toward my destiny.


	8. Something Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter! I'm always surprised when a story starts to write itself, going in places I never meant to go. I like it though it gives a bit of foreshadowing. This chapter is a bit longer than previous but I hope it flows and you wont even notice. Enjoy!

I follow behind Nino and Alya as we enter the VIP area. I hear the door close as soon as I go through and realize that Adrien hasn’t entered with us. I make a physical effort not to look back to see what he is doing. Instead I focus on putting one foot in front of another as my head swims.

What was Adrien doing?

Nino leads us over to one of the white sofas close to the overlook and flops down. He bounces a few times before patting the seat next to him and wagging his eyebrows at Alya. She slides in close to him and I sit on the opposite sofa, my back to the door. I try to make an effort to think of anything but the boy on the other side of that door when I see Alya’s flirty smile die on her face. Oh man I wouldn’t want to be on the other end of that glare. I follow her gaze over my shoulder. There stands Adrien, still in the hall, face illuminated by his phone screen, with a big goofy smile. He looks happy. Happier than he’s looked all night. Happier than he’d been with me. It must be someone special. It must be Kagami.

My chest hurts.

But he’s been so…

My eyes sting.

He hasn’t been flirting but he’s been…

My stomach rolls.

But…he actually noticed me tonight.

“Let go of me Nino!” I jerk back in time to see Nino pull Alya back down on the sofa. “He’s spent all night practically dry humping Mari and now he’s out there sending sap to his girlfriend! I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind. And maybe a kick in the ASS!”

“Please Alya! Please.”

Nino drops his voice as he wraps Alya in a hug and rubs soothing circles along her spine. He mummers in her ear but it’s too soft to hear what he is saying. Whatever it is, it works. Her lips purse into a thin line and her eyes could burn a hole straight through Adrien but she stops fighting. Nino releases her from his containing hug and she turns those piercing eyes on him. Her expression is dangerous. They speak in hushed tones and I realize I’m intruding on a private conversation. Before I even make the decision, my feet are moving toward the bar.

“What can I get you, Miss?”

A young blond woman in a tight but professional white button down shirt smiles politely. I hesitate. My eyes are drawn back to the VIP entrance just as Adrien pulls it open. His eyes catch mine and hold. He wears a blinding smile. His steps are long and confident with a swagger I’ve only seen on the runway. Everything about him screams pleased. Like the cat who caught the canary. My misery tightens into a ball.

He’s just a friend. Just a friend. Just be his friend. You can be his friend. Just his friend.  

“I want to try something new.” I definitely need something new. “Why don’t you surprise me with something sweet?”

“I have just the thing.”

Her eyes glitter past me as she starts pouring from different bottles into an ice filled shaker. I can’t help my eye roll when I realize she is watching Adrien approach us. She arches her back slightly as she begins shaking the drink and it puts on quite the show. I have to turn away and cover my mouth to keep from laughing. I end up turning toward Adrien just in time to catch his expression. His eyes are trained on the bartender but his brows are pinched and his mouth is pulled in a tight, awkward smile. He seems entranced but uncomfortable at the same time. I can’t help the giggle that bubbles past my fingers. His gaze drifts toward mine and his whole face brightens. That goofy smile is back but this time it’s focused completely on me. I hate myself a little for the way my heart beats faster.

Be cool Marinette. Be his friend.

As he gets close he turns his back to the bar, executing that perfect model lean. My eyes roll away with a dry chuckle.

 “And what are you laughing at?”  

“You,” I look at him over my shoulder, “you and your posing.” I lean in close and start poking interesting spots. “Is there an off button?”

An airy laugh is forced out of him as he dodges and tries to deflect my jabs. 

“Stop! Stop Mari…” giggle giggle “Stop! I give up! I give…”

THUNK!

A champagne glass smacks down under my nose.

I jump and look back to the bartender whose expression is no longer polite. A quick glance shows me that she has been busy while we were distracted. Cleavage greets me as several buttons have mysteriously popped open on her blouse.

“Kir Royale for you Mademoiselle.”

She only holds my gaze for a pointed second before turning a sexy smile to the back of Adrien’s head.

“Is there _anything_ I can do for you, sir.”

Geez, I giggle again at her obviousness and at Adrien’s large, lost eyes as he looks over his shoulder at her. Hmmm…I could save him or make it worse. He turns back to me and whatever he sees makes his golden skin pale. Oh this could be so much fun, a little payback for his flirting tonight. Two could play this game. Wide green eyes follow my fingers as I reach over and barely brush along Adrien’s bare arm, feeling goose bumps race with my touch.

“Yeah, Adrien.” I purr. “What is it that you need?”

I hold his startled gaze as I use my other hand to lift the cocktail to my lips. It’s sweet and fruity and burns as I swallow. I’ll give it to blondie; she knows how to make a drink. The alcohol loosens the knot in my constraint and I decide to make things interesting and take it up a notch. I smoothly trace the edge of the glass with the tip of my tongue to catch a drip. His eyes turn into saucers and follow my tongue’s path across the glass then along my lips.

“See anything you might like?” I turn slightly and press into Adrien’s side. Soft curves molding against hard muscle. His eyes stay locked on mine but his face is blank. His face remains blank as he drifts away from me. I realize he is sliding off the bar. “Adrien!?”

With a heavy swallow he catches himself before he slips off. Standing up straight he watches me for a second. He looks at me like he’s never seen me before. He looks shaken. His eyes search mine but for what? I remember his smile in the hall and if it was for Kagami then how can he look at me like this. Like I’m an oasis in the desert. Not sure if I’m his salvation or just a mirage.

“Mari…”

I shiver at the intimacy of his voice. His body drifts closer to mine dwarfing my small frame. So close. So wide. I feel vulnerable. I feel stripped. Cologne wafts around me wiping away what I was trying to accomplish. How’d I get myself into this situation yet again? I take a small step back to clear my head. Big mistake. Spring green eyes bore into mine and his smile takes on a predatory edge. My body freezes. Uncertainty rages through me. Flight or fight mode kicks in. As Marinette I may not have Ladybugs confidence and candor but I have always held my own. I have never felt like prey before. That smile holds my attention. It makes my skin crawl with something I can’t name. I hear something. Laughter. Faint at first but it grows. It drowns out everything. It overtakes me like a wave and pulls me into darkness. I’m gone before my body hits the ground, the echo of laughter chasing after me.

                                    _______________

 

I don’t know what just happened. One minute I was trying to get a hold of myself after Marinette actually flirted with me and the next her eyes rolled back and her body dropped. The only thing that saved her from hitting her head was my Chat reflexes. Gathering her limp body in my arms I take her over to the sofa across from Nino and Alya. I hear something from the bartender but it can’t penetrate the whirling of my thoughts.

She has to be okay.

I check the pulse at her throat. It’s strong but fast almost like she’s been running.

Please be okay.

I lean close to her mouth to listen if she’s breathing. I feel the tickle of air as it pants along my cheek.

Please…please.

Her eyes shift as if in sleep. I lift a fluttering lid but see only white.

I’m so focused on checking vitals that I don’t hear Alya until she pulls me off of Marinette.

“IS. SHE. OKAY?!”

"Oh! oh - oh uh...yeah! Yeah she seems fine."

“What the hell HAPPENED?! One minute she’s at the bar with you,” A firm finger pokes into my chest, “The next minute she’s passed out?!”

I’ve never been on the receiving end of Alya’s wrath. I don’t know how Nino does it. Alya stands under my nose but I’m literally scared for my life. Golden hazel eyes practically crackle with anger as her hands dance around. I try to back up but she follows.

“What did you SAY to her?!”

“No-noth-thing…”

“Then WHY did she pass out?”

“I don’t know. We were…”

“You don’t KNOW?! You were RIGHT THERE!”

“We were just talking. Then she – then she took a drink …”

“Was there something in her drink?!” Alya turns on the bartender who instinctively takes a step back.

“No!” Sparking gold snaps back to my face. “No…we were right there as she made it besides she only took a sip. It was too small of a drink. Too fast. Besides she just…” My eyes look back to Marinette’s prone form. “She just buckled.”

I squeeze around Alya as she processes all of this and kneel by Marinette. Her eyes still move like she’s dreaming. Her fingers twitch randomly. My thumb trails along her forehead. A soothing gesture I remember my mother doing after I had a bad dream.

“Marinette,” I croon. “It’s okay. Shhh, it’s okay.” Her head moves toward the sound of my voice. I can’t hide my relief. “Marinette! Can you hear me?” I see her lips move and I lean in close to hear. Even with my sensitive ears it’s difficult to make out.

“No….” her head turns away. “Please … Chaton.” 

I drop her hand as I jerk away.

“NO!” Marinette jumps up. Her eyes dart around as if searching for something. When they land on me she flinches. There’s fear and hurt in her eyes. But it’s gone before I even realize it’s there. “What…?” She looks around again at everyone standing over her and sits all the way up. “What happened?” Her eyes pinch closed and her hand presses to her forehead.

Alya slides gently into the seat next to her. “How are you feeling?” The back of Alya’s hand runs softly across her cheek. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.” She looks around at everyone again. “So-sorry. I’m …I’m fine really.” She gives the group a wobbly smile.  

The bartender and two waiters visibly relax and quickly disappear. I stare longingly to the seat next to Marinette but it’d be too tight with Alya sitting on her other side. Dejected, I join Nino on the opposite sofa. Alya watches me with a raised eyebrow that doesn’t feel all together friendly. When she faces Marinette again she’s all compassion.

“What happened, Mari?”

“I’m not sure.” Delicate hands press into either side of her head. “I was at the bar,” blue eyes find mine, “when I just felt weird.”

“Weird how?”

Even though Marinette was addressing Alya, her eyes stayed locked on mine. Drowning me gently in a sea of blue.

“I was…talking,” pink creeps up her cheeks, “to Adrien.” A smile tugs at my lips but her sharp stare keeps it from materializing. “Then I felt.” Her eyes widen and that hint of fear creeps back in but still she holds my gaze. “I felt…” She shakes her head and her eyes squeeze shut. I suddenly feel my breath rush back in. I hadn’t realized I was holding it until her eyes released me. “I can’t remember.” She drops her face into her hands. “I was just gone,” she mumbles past her fingers, “I was there with Adrien then I was…running. It was dark. A shadow.” She shivers. “A shadow was chasing me. I could hear a voice. A voice in my head. I can’t remember what it was saying.” She looks up from her hands into Alya’s face. Her skin is pale. Her eyes haunted. “But I remember the laughter. So cold. Taunting...” Her voice drifts away.

None of us speak. There’s a tension in the air that none of us knows how to deal with.

“Well…Shit!” Except Nino. “Dude that’s…haha…that’s intense. You want a drink?” He points at a stunned Marinette who only stares at him. “You need a drink.” He looks around at us. “We all need a drink. Be back.”

Without another word he jumps over the back of the sofa and jogs to the bar. We all watch silently as he talks animatedly to the bartender. She nods and looks over at us a few times looking more and more relaxed. She starts pouring shots and laughing with Nino.

“I don’t know how he does that.”

I look over at Alya. She watches Nino with pure adoration. I can’t help but smile at her look. Seeing the love between them makes me warm and hopeful. I turn wistful eyes to Marinette to find her watching me. My smile dims at the strange intensity of her eyes. She glances over at Alya who is still looking at Nino. She studies them for a second when she sees Nino catch Alya staring. A soft moment passes between them and Nino holds his hands together like a heart. Alya blows him a kiss. When Marinette looks back at me she still looks haunted but a sweet smile softens her face. Her shoulders relax and when Nino comes back with a fist full of shots she downs hers with a grimace. Everyone laughs at her face, including herself. Laughter surrounds us and the night gets lighter.

Until it all crashes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should hit a climax then the story should continue on at a fluffy pace for a bit. I don't really have a plan for the fluff so if there's something specific you like just comment. Then back to a bit dark and angsty. I hope you continue to read and enjoy the journey.


	9. Chance Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to meet Luka! Get ready for some jealous Adrian.  
> So the climax will end up being in the next chapter sorry. :(

I block out the clamor of the people around me until all is quiet. I push down the bass vibrating through my body until I feel centered. All my attention focuses on the red dot. I bring my hand back and snap it forward releasing my dart. My heart sinks as it wobbles through the air. It’s not going to make it. With a soft, satisfying thunk it hits home. Bullseye! A smile stretches my checks. I line my shot up again. It wobbles and hits and …bounces off. My shoulders droop until the screen lights up…Bullseye! My heart picks up speed. Just one more. My hands shake a little. I can do this. I can. I let go of the dart and trace its shaky path right to the center dot. It knocks the first dart off but digs in deep right at the center of the red bullseye. My breath whooshes out as my hands fly into the air. I hit three bullseyes! Holy Macaroni! I jump up and down, wiggling in victory.

“Guys! Guys! Did you see that!” I shake my butt in a victory dance. “I got three in a row! THREE Bullseyes!” I turn around to find Alya and Nino making out in the corner and Adrien nowhere to be seen. “Guys! Come on!” My hands are now in the air with indignation. I swing them back to indicate the board. “Did no one see that?!”

I huff my outrage and stomp to pick up the darts. Stupid friends. Make the perfect shots and no one sees. I mumble as I tug out the dart sunk into the center of the dart board. I turn to pick up the two on the floor only to see them cradled in a large hand.

“I saw.” My eyes lift to Mediterranean eyes. Very familiar Mediterranean eyes. “Loved the victory dance.”

“Luka…”

“Hey there Ma-ma-marrinette.” His voice is soft but still manages to drift over all the noise. His eyes are even softer. I stand there with my mouth open. The last time I saw him rushing over me. The regret. The ache. The feeling of an opportunity missed.

_______________

 

 “Ask me not to go Marinette.”

Long fingers dig into my back as strong arms crush me. What little breath I manage to pull into my lungs wheezes out at his words. I try to pull away to see his face but he only squeezes closer. I press my cheek into his chest and listen to the rapid thump of his heart.

“Luka…I -” want you to stay. I try and say it but it just won’t make it past my lips. I can’t take this opportunity away from him. No matter how I want to continue what we have. How much I want to get to know him. I can’t ask him to give up his dream. “I can’t ask you to do that.” I swallow back tears “You can’t stay.” His body goes hard and he finally lets me pull away.

I try to take a step back but his hands hold tight to my waist. “I can stay. I have my connection to Jagged Stone now thanks to you. I can always be his roadie on another tour. I could stay. We could see where this goes.”

The hope in his eyes makes me want to agree. I want to shout ‘Hell Yes!’ and lift up on my toes and kiss him silly. But I can’t.

My eyes plead with him to understand. “He has a guitar tech that’s willing to mentor you on this tour. One that is world renowned and highly sought after. If you work on the stage crew on this tour and impress this guy you have a major contact. Plus Jagged said that his rhythm guitarist is super flaky and he would love to have a talented backup just in case. How can you not say yes to that?!”

“I could easily say no if you asked.”

Oh man, those eyes.

His beautiful, tropical blue eyes are too soft to stand. They dissolve all my defenses leaving me a puddle. Sighing, I brush my fingers across his cheek. His hands tighten on me and his face presses into my palm. I brace my other hand on his shoulder and draw him toward me as I stretch to reach him. I always imagined my first kiss would be with Adrien. Even when Luka and I started hanging out more, I never thought he’d be more than a friend. Sure he made me feel all loopy and it was hard not to blush and stutter but he was older and cooler and I always thought of it as a crush. A very one sided crush. Now he stands here asking me to ask him to stay. I was so wrong.

Luka’s lips brush against mine. Gentle. Restrained. My legs quiver and Luka’s hands slide around me pulling me flush against him. Supporting me. Making my skin spark. The kiss remains sweet even as it deepens. The delicate touch of his tongue against mine makes my fingers reach up to grip his hair. A rumble from his chest makes me crave more but Luka keeps the kiss soft. Easy. Filled with potential. Possibilities that swirl around us, lifting us, making us drift in a haze.

I don’t know when the kiss ends. His lips moved with such delicate purpose that I never felt when they left my own. I feel dizzy yet grounded against him. It’s a physical effort to lift my head away from his to look in his eyes. It’s even harder to get the words out that I need to say.

“If you stay you will never leave. It’s nearly impossible now and we haven’t even started. Can you honestly tell me you could leave in a year? Leave after we get close? After we fall in love?” I’m disconcerted by the emotions raging across Luka’s normally serene features, shifting and changing with his thoughts. I touch his face to try and soften my words. “If you stay I will always compete with an unrealized dream and that’s not good for either one of us. I can’t ask you to stay because you need to go.”

And with sad resignation, he left.

_______________

 

“HEY!” Luka and I flinch at the piercing quality of my voice. “Uh…” I clear my throat, “Hey! La-luka! Ha…” I try not to squirm. “Long time no see.”

Ugh! So stupid Marinette.

Luka just grins at me. “Too long,” he nods.

My joints feel a little loose when he chuckles dryly and wraps me in a consuming hug. His arms engulf me and I press my forehead into his shoulder. I smell alcohol and cigarettes on him. Since when does he smoke? I wrinkle my nose at the unpleasant scent but don’t pull away.  I can’t help but wonder how much he’s changed.

“My brave little Marinette. Look at you!” He pulls back and looks me over with a slowness that makes my skin light fire. “You grew up,” he says huskily.

Oh and he had too! He still has that serene contentment about him. His eyes still look like he’s amused by the world around him. His dark hair is longer and pulled back into a bun but I can see the ends are still dyed turquoise. Other than that he’s no longer the tall, gangly guitarist I remember. He’s wearing a black vest that falls to his hips and his chest is bare beneath. Lifting all that equipment has done him good. He’s gotten wider in all the right places. His arms are defined and his black shorts hang dangerously low on narrow hips. I’m surprised by his simple attire. Everyone else’s, including my own, are beyond over the top. He notices my own slow perusal with a widening smile. The shine in his eyes makes me worried and excited at the same time. He seems to shake himself and glances around at the crowd of people around us.

“You’re not here by yourself are you?” His face pinches.

“No, I came with Alya and her boyfriend, Nino and his best friend, Adrien.”

“Oh yeah, I remember meeting them a couple times...” He looks around as if looking for them but when his eyes come back to me they stick. He smirks, “I’m not interrupting a double date, am I?”

“Ha! No, no. Adrien is in a serious relationship.” I give a dismissive laugh but my stomach bottoms out. Everything that has been going on with Adrien rushes at me all of a sudden. Too much has been going on and we need to stop. He’s with Kagami. I need to get that through my head.

“Hey Marinette…” I turn to see Adrien walking up.

Speak of the devil.

He stops short when he sees I’m not alone. I watch as he takes in Luka. Recognition makes him stand up straighter and his eyes go straight to mine. What I see there makes my stomach roll where it has dropped. I turn away, not able to deal with the implications. I remember what Alya said to me the other day about Luka being a sore topic. Did she say something to Nino who said something to Adrien? For a second he looked protective, possessive even. Like a kid who doesn’t want to share a favorite toy.

My throat is too dry and my words come out scratchy. “Adr-” I lick my lips. “Adrien, you remember Luka, Juleka’s brother? Luka, Adrien played keyboard with your band a few times.”

“Oh yeah! I remember.” Luka stepped toward him with his hand extended. “How have you been?”

I try not to fidget as Adrien grips his hand. Their eyes hold and I notice Luka smirking. Adrien doesn’t return the smile and his reply is a stiff ‘fine.’ Luka must have picked up on Adrien’s attitude because he suddenly rests his arm on my shoulders. His fingers graze my bare arms. Adrien’s doesn’t move but his reaction in palpable.

“Luka?” Alya must have come up for air. She strolls over with Nino trailing.

“Hello, Alya.” Luka moves away from me to grab her hand. With an exaggerated bow, he bends and kisses her knuckles. “Looking as lovely as ever.”

With a haughty tug, she pulls her fingers out of his grip. “Luka, I didn’t realize Jagged Stone had a Paris concert scheduled. How long will you be in town for?” She looks from his face to mine, her gaze softening. Questioning how I feel about this development.

It’s not the only pair of eyes on me but it’s the only pair I acknowledge. I give her an encouraging smile and nod to let her know everything was ok.

Luka addresses Alya but his eyes lock on mine.

“Jagged’s tour just wrapped and I haven’t setup another. I want to be here for Juleka’s graduation.” He pauses and then continues more firmly. “I haven’t decided if I’ll go back to touring.”

I’m not the only one to catch Luka’s meaning. Adrien walks toward me until his shoulder overlaps mine. Almost like he’s shielding me.

“You’re staying in Paris?” Adrien’s voice has an edge.

 I look up into Adrien’s profile and am shocked at his intensity. What’s gotten into him? Even if he did think Luka ran off, his reaction to Luka possibly sticking around is over the top and misplaced. I look to Luka who also notices Adrien’s protective stance. Alya and Nino watch with raised eyebrows.

Luka looks pointedly at me. “Maybe, if everything works out like I plan.”

I look down at his mouth remembering how it moved against mine. Remembering how he held back. What would it be like if he hadn’t? My skin feels hot as that mouth lifts into a knowing smirk. I shift to hide my face behind Adrien’s shoulder until I steady myself.

“And what plans do you have?” You can almost hear the threat in Adrien’s voice as he steps a little further in front of me.

What’s Adrien’s deal? I turn a questioning look at Alya and Nino. They seem as confused by Adrien’s hostility as I am.

“Over the years I found that the stage and travel weren’t really for me. I loved taking care of the instruments and being on stage was a thrill but it got…lonely.” I peek over Adrien’s shoulder and see Luka watching me. “I also found that I had a gift for composing music. I’ve already assisted Jagged’s song writer on many of his most popular songs. It’d be difficult to get into, I’d still have to travel some or live near a studio, and the hours during a project would be ridiculous but I’d be able to start a life...have something to come home to.”

That softly spoken sentence tilts my world. I feel a dopy smile creep along my face and can’t seem to break eye contact.

“Well! I think that’s cause for celebration!” Alya grins at me. “Marinette, why don’t you take Luka and grab us some drinks?”

I can feel Adrien scowl at us but my body is buoyed with happiness. I drift around Adrien and reach for Luka’s hand.

“Kronenbourg 1664 for Nino and me,” Alya laughs. “What for you Adrien?”

I look back to see what Adrien wants us to grab but what I see drags me back down to Earth. He looks devastated but it’s gone before I can be sure it was there.

I hesitate as Luka goes to pull me with him. “Adrien?”

There are a lot of questions rolled into that one word. He holds my quizzical look but that model smile slips in and he shakes his head. “I’m fine.” He salutes with the beer in his hand.

As I walk away and Adrien’s sad eyes follow us, I know only one thing for certain. Adrien definitely wasn’t fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a personal note, the dart scene actually was from experience. I hit 3 freaking bullseyes and no one I came with saw. I'm just standing there like WTF and some random guy next to me takes pity and gives me a high five. Thank you random guy where ever you are.
> 
> Poor Adrien. I would feel bad but I just don't. I'm excited about the next chapter. I've been wanting to write this next one since the beginning and I'm hoping it translate to paper well. I hope you have enjoyed reading this so far.


	10. Dance With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering I was listening to Adversarial Design [Zone] by Maelstrom while I wrote Mari and Adrien dancing. It starts with a very powerful build I thought worked great for what I wanted.

Luka’s hands are rough as they engulf mine. Years of setting up stages and playing guitar has created callouses on his fingertips. Fingertips that gently rub and stroke my fingers and palm as he leads me through the crowd. Each gentle brush and squeeze makes my skin tingle. Does he know what he’s doing to me? I’m so focused on the sensation that I bump into him when he stops at the bar. His throaty laugh vibrates into me as I step away but I get stopped short when he keeps ahold of my hand. Anchored to him like this keeps me close as he turns to face me. His smile is soft as his eyes flicker over my face.

My nerves get the better of me and my mouth just takes off.

“SorryaboutthatIwasn’tpayingattentionandyoukindofstoppedshortandit’sdarkheretooand you’re wearing. all black. Which makes. It. Even. Harder…to…see…you…”

My eyes drift down to indicate his clothing and my brain shorts out. The area by the bar is only lit using black lights. Now I realize why his outfit doesn’t need to be over the top. His entire body looks like it’s covered in colorful war paint. A jagged line starts across his forehead like a crown then curves down on either side to skim his high cheek bones. Large dots line his collarbone like a necklace with lines radiating across his chest. Making it appear even wider. Crude geometric shapes highlight his trim waist and accentuate his shoulders and biceps. He looks damn sexy.

Luka leans in close so I can hear him. “Careful now, Marinette. I might get the wrong idea.” His coarse thumb strokes over my knuckles as his warm breathe slides along my neck making my heart pick up speed.

He pulls away and gives me a wicked smile. He has changed. Older. Harder. More confident. The way his body leans toward mine, the way he holds my eyes, that smile, it all tells me this is something he has done before. Something he has perfected. It doesn’t stop the electricity racing along my skin. The way his touch starts a current that zings up my arm to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He’s dangerous in the most delicious way. His smile promises things I haven’t even considered in my lonely, late night musings but his eyes assure me it would be done with complete adoration.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Luka lifts his free hand to my face. His fingers brush along my jaw as his thumb ghosts my lips. “I like your makeup.” His smile melts away as his eyes become intense and drop to my mouth. I see his Adam’s apple bob. “Very traditional,” his fingers leave my jaw and he traces the bridge of my nose and taps, “except these freckles. How I’ve missed those freckles, Mari.”

I can feel my body creeping toward his. He’s like a magnet. His words, his intensity, his compete focus, all pull me closer. He lifts the hand he is holding to his chest and holds it there. I can feel the way his heart beats strong against my hand. His other hand reaches for my waist but someone bumps into me causing my hands to reach out for Luka to keep me up.

“Uh, sorry sweetheart.” I hear a stranger say before he blends back into the crowd.

Luka’s hands steady me as he smiles down. “Still as sure footed as ever I see.” Old memories make his eyes sparkle and crinkle at the corners.

“Shut up, Couffaine.” I reach up and punch him in the shoulder.

He pulls away, laughing as he rubs the spot I hit. “Still got that arm, too.”

My smile feels soft as I glance down hoping to hide my blush. I can’t stop myself as my eyes travel over his painted skin, again. I notice that my fingers smudged the paint over his collarbone when I knocked into him.

“Oh! I’m sorry I messed up your design.”

As I step back though, I notice other small imperfections. Smears made by delicate hands in even more delicate places. My hand reaches out and follows the path of a very low smear. Luka’s stomach quivers under my light touch and he sucks in a breath. My eyes lift to his as he goes to take a step closer. What he sees makes him hesitate. His gaze follows mine back down to my hand. He sees what I see now. All of the other gentle touches marring the design.

His hand covers mine again and squeezes lightly. “Mari, it’s just from me dancing. That’s all. I’m not here with anyone. There’s been no one important since you.”

I nod.

No one _important_ but it’s painfully obvious there has been others. Most likely _a lot_ of others. I know it’s silly. I know I told him to leave and it’s been four years and I have no claim on him but it stings. It stings because he never looked me up. It stings that he’s here dancing with strangers. It stings that if we hadn’t randomly run into each other we might never have. His little speech about his ‘plans working out’ makes my hackles raise a little. How stupid of me to think he meant being with me. How stupid for me to think he came back and thought of me at all. All night I’ve felt stupid. Stupid for letting Adrien get close when there was no chance there. Stupid for letting Luka get my hopes up. I squeeze my eyes closed willing away the tears making my eyes sting.

I shake my head.

Stupid girl.

“Mari,” his fingers reach for my chin but I turn away. His hand drops away and his forehead comes down to rest against mine. “This isn’t the best place to talk. Why don’t we get out of here? Maybe, grab some food.” When I hesitate he sighs and takes a step away. He’s quiet for a moment before he tries again. “There’s a lot I want to say. Please Mari, give me a chance to say it.” His plea tugs at me finally making me look up at him. Bolstered, he reaches for my hands and presses something into my palm. I look down to see a business card. It’s a sleek design of a digital mixing system. I flip it over to see Luka’s contact information. “Meet me. For lunch or something. Tomorrow. The next day. Whenever. Just please meet me so I can explain.” Torn but not wanting to hurt Luka, I slide the card into my purse. He nods at me satisfied.

Finally the bartender points to us and yells for our order. Before Luka can move I lean around him. “Three Kronenbourg 1664s,” I glance over at Luka who shakes his head, “and that’s it.”

The bartender scans my bracelet without even looking at me and hands me the drinks. Luka grabs two of them from me with one hand, easily holding them between his fingers. He gently takes my free hand and clears a path back to my friends. There’s zero flirting but his grip is still achingly soft. He maneuvers me so that he takes most of the hard jostles and prevents a few wayward drinks from spilling on me. He remains quiet as we approach until he hands Alya and Nino their drinks.

“Hey guys, it was great seeing you all but I need to be getting back to my group.” His eyes meet mine for a split second and they fill with longing before he looks away again. “I hope we can all hang out again soon.” And with that he just turns and leaves.

Things fall back into friendly banter as we finish the dart game but I stay distracted. I feel bad for how I acted with Luka but tonight has been confusing enough already. I need to reconcile what’s happening with Adrien before I add another person into this tangled mess. I’m too caught up in my own thoughts and flinch when someone shakes my shoulder. Blinking several times I focus back in on the conversation.

“Earth to Mari! Did you hear anything we have said?”

“Oh I’m sorry. No what were you talking about?”

Alya just sighs deeply, “Never mind it wasn’t anything important.” She tugs on my hand. “Come on girl we’re dancing.” She looks over her shoulder as she drags me away. “You’re invited too boys if you think you can keep up.”

Nino doesn’t have to be asked twice and jogs to catch up; throwing his arms around our shoulders. Without meaning to I glance over my shoulder to see if Adrien is coming.

_______________

 

Luka fucking Couffaine.

When I had first walked up I hadn’t recognized him but that blue tipped hair gave him away. The first thing that struck me though was Mari’s body language. While Luka looked engaged and very interested, Mari looked bleak. Add to that the way Alya talked about them the other day and I went into protective mode. I shouldn’t have, it wasn’t my place but I couldn’t turn it off. I realized how wrong I was when Mari drifted around me and took Luka’s had. The dreamy smile on her face hit me hard. So hard I couldn’t stuff down how I was feeling like I normally do. My bad luck held true when Mari looked back to see if I wanted a drink and saw my misery. I tried to lighten it with a silly salute but her concern lingered as Luka pulled her away.

I now have to sit here and listen to Alya gush and chatter about how kismet it is seeing Luka here. How perfect Mari and he looked together. How she knew he was the one for her. To top it off she keeps giving me pointed looks I can’t decipher. I don’t know what I did to provoke her. She always seems excited when I hang out with them but tonight she’s been almost hostile. Anytime I even get near Marinette I can feel her heated eyes on me. I have half a mind to just leave but I want to make sure Marinette comes back alright. I don’t remember Luka being a bad guy but I just don’t get chancing it. I mean, he’s been on tour with a rock star. Who knows what he’s gotten into. No. I can’t leave until I know Marinette is ok.

“Dude, you’re supposed to be having fun. Don’t just lean there and scowl.” Nino reaches out to grip my shoulder.

I shake my head and give him a lopsided grin. “Sorry I think I’m just feeling these more than I thought.” I lift my nearly empty beer bottle as evidence. “I’ll probably take off soon.”

“No way! I only have about an hour before I go up. I’m closing Dj. I know it’s late but you don’t have to close it down with me. At least stay to hear a song or two!” How can I say no when he gives me those big amber puppy eyes?

“Of course. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” I push at his shoulder. “Of course I’m going to stay to hear you DJ. I guess I’m just not feeling it tonight is all.”

Nino’s eyes glance over at Alya who instantly turns her head away to study the dart board. “Yeah? I can probably guess why that is.” Nino looks back at me intently and drops his voice so only I can hear. “Listen Alya is team Adrinette all the way. She just worries about what’s going on between you guys tonight when you’re still with Kagami. She’s Mama Bear protective of Mari. You know that.” His eyes flick back to Alya who is openly watching us now and drops his voice even more. “Also, if you’re serious about Mari than you need to talk to her. Luka showing up is a wrench and you can’t wait to do it any longer. Talk to her, than get your shit straightened out, then sweep her off her feet. She won’t go forward with Luka if she knows there’s a chance with you.”

“You really think so?” I can’t mask the hope in my voice. “Wait a minute,” I wrinkle my nose at him, “team Adrinette?”

He laughs. “Yes I do and yeah we’re all team Adrinette. Adrien and Marinette. This can’t be the first time you’ve heard that. It’s how everyone has referred to you guys since Dupont.”

 “What?! Why didn’t anyone ever say anything to me?”

“Dude we tried. We hinted. We schemed. Some outright asked you about her. You always came back with the same stupid response. ‘She’s just a friend.’” Nino’s voice takes on a slight nasal quality as his hand mimics the words.

I give my supposed best friend a deadpan look. “Is that supposed to be me?”

Nino’s grin is way too cheerful. I reach to put him in a head lock but he just dances away laughing. Making his way to hide behind Alya as he waggles his fingers at me. Alya raises an eyebrow at him but smiles when he’s not looking. It’s almost sickening to see how much they love each other. I don’t know how Mari stands it all the time. Speak of the devil, her she comes.

Luka’s eyes are tight and Marinette keeps looking at him and away as they make their way over. Luka still has her hand held close behind him but his posture is stiff. Something happened that upset them both. I try not to smile but it must not be working because Alya glares. She looks like she will say something until Luka interrupts, handing Nino and her, their beers.

 “Hey guys, it was great seeing you all but I need to be getting back to my group.” His eyes focus on Marinette before he takes in the rest of us. “I hope we can all hang out again soon.”

A satisfied grin splits my face. The way Luka just looked at Mari and then ran off, oh yeah something happened. We finish up our game of darts and Alya tries to engage Mari several times but she doesn’t seem to notice. She doesn’t say what happened when Alya hits her up for the ‘deats’. She doesn’t gloat about somehow making 150 points in darts without anyone noticing. She ignores our ribbing about the possibility of her cheating. Worse of all though she doesn’t do her patented Marinette victory dance upon winning. I’m concerned but Alya is perturbed.

“Geez, girl if you wanted to leave with Luka no one would have been mad.” I glare at her but she doesn’t even bother to glance my way. Stomping over to Mari she shakes her shoulder. “Earth to Mari! Did you hear anything we have said?”

Marinette flinches and blinks owlishly at Alya. “Oh I’m sorry. No what were you talking about?”

Alya sighs out her frustration, “Never mind it wasn’t anything important. Come on girl we’re dancing.” She drags Mari away and smirks over her shoulder at Nino and me. “You’re invited too boys if you think you can keep up.”

Nino jumps up and chases after them without even a glance my way. I don’t blame him. I’ve seen the girls dance together before. Alya loves to do things that make Marinette blush and doesn’t mind making Nino watch as she does it. I’m debating whether I want to join them when blue eyes glance back and lock on mine. Just like that on my feet trailing behind like the stray I am. Desperate for a treat or a scratch behind the ears. With that one look I know I can’t leave.

They walk together as they make their way to the dance floor but once the crowd thickens I see Nino take the lead dragging Alya then Mari behind him. Before they’re swallowed by the crowd, I grab onto Marinette’s hand and am pulled in with them. Bodies press against us as we push through. Drinks slosh and bodies jostle. I walk closer behind Marinette and use my free hand to hold on to her waist to block people from getting too close to her. She looks over her shoulder at me. Her bluebell eyes are curious but there’s a heat there, too. Simmering low but fierce. Without meaning to my hand tightens on her fleetingly. Her eyes jerk forward before I can see how she reacts.

We reach a pocket in the sea of writhing bodies and Nino turns and pulls Alya to him. His body instantly molds to hers and she grudgingly releases Marinette’s hand, but not before she shoots a warning glare my way. Realizing the opportunity Nino just gave me; I wink at Alya’s scowl and twirl Mari to face me. The silver sound of her giggle cuts through the vibrating bass line and I can’t help but grin down at her. That look in her eyes makes me feel light but before I slip too far away her hands slip to my shoulders. Her body is just beyond the touch of mine when she begins to sway. Her movements gentle, contrasting the thrumming music enveloping us.

“Nice shuffle there Mari.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “I’m just trying to protect your poor deformed feet.”

“Hey! My feet aren’t deformed…just a little callused.”

She leans in slightly and smirks. “Ha! A little callused? They could belong to a lizard.” She reaches for my hand and lifts it between us, examining my fingers. Her hands are cool against my skin which burn at her touch. I can’t help but notice she hesitates a moment too long as she drags her thumb over my nails. She clears her throat and lifts my fingers slightly. “These fingernails prove you enjoy your spa treatments.” She drops my hand and reaches for the back of my neck. “Throw in a Pedi every now and then. I know your toes are ticklish but man up.”

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. The lights go off completely. Marinette freezes under my hands. A beat starts playing as the black lights kick back on. The air around us glows with the eerie luminous light. On a whim I reach up and take Marinette’s hand, spinning her until she faces the other way. Her hand stays in mine causing my arm to wrap around her waist, pulling her close. The song progresses. The momentum building. I feel the first brush of her body as she begins dancing. Just a whisper of skin but it blazes through me. The pitch in the song rises, building tension. I drop my chin to her shoulder and move with her. Floral perfume pushes back the smell of the club. My lips graze her neck and she shutters against me. The music builds until it’s a living thing. The heavy air vibrates and Marinette’s movements sway and pop in time to that driving beat. It builds until I’m panting and my fingers press Marinette flush against me. Then the music and lights cut out.

For a split second there’s only Mari and I. Our bodies thrumming and alive. Then a strobe light flashes dropping the bass line with it. I can feel the energy course between our bodies. Pulsating from one to the other until all sensation blurs. I can no longer tell her skin from my own. Her hand or mine. We’re one in a way I’ve never felt before. Complete. I’m lost in the feeling. I no longer hear the music. My eyes are open but not seeing. I only feel. Her. Us.

After an eternity I become aware of myself again. The strobe blinks in time with the measure of the music, drawing my attention to the smooth skin and dark hair in front of me. It’s hypnotic. The sudden flash of light breaking through the black light glow. I’m enthralled with the way Marinette looks different in the changing light. How she seems to go from real to surreal. Solid to ethereal. I nose her neck and along her ear. A small mewl sound whispers around me. My entire body responds. I trace the shell of her ear just as the strobe dies again. I notice how her solid black earring suddenly seems to be opaque. It catches my attention.

Strobe light on. Solid black. Black light on. Opaque. Something whispers in the back of my mind.

 _Important_.

I watch, staring closer, as the solid black slides back to opaque. There’s something there in the inky depths.

Solid. Opaque. A red glow.

Solid. Opaque. Red dots.

Solid. Opaque. Five red dots.

Solid. Opaque. Five very familiar red dots.

Ice runs down my spine. Freezing my blood. Freezing my body.

No. She can’t be.

Marinette turns, concern pinching her brows. My arms become lead at my sides. She reaches up and cups my cheek. Her mouth moves but I don’t hear her. My head buzzes with the impossibility that my sweet shy friend is also my brave strong superhero partner. Her face flashes vibrant in the strobe light. In that split second I see the flush on her cheeks striking against her blue eyes. Eyes that are far too familiar. Eyes that have haunted my dreams. Tortured my daydreams. Blue eyes surrounded by red.

It’s too much. No. It can’t be. Now that I see the design in the earrings though I can’t see anything else. A ladybug glows under the black light. A ladybug that isn’t there any other time. A ladybug that will only appear when called. I back away. My head shakes in denial. No it can’t be true. I turn away from Marinette’s anxiety and look at my ring. Instead of the muted silver color a shadow seems to emit from the face. Deep in its center, a faint green cat paw whispers.

I run from the club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm What's wrong with Adrien? Oh you'll find out. >:)~  
> It's finally here! I was dying to write this reveal. I really enjoyed it and I hope you guys do too. It ran a lot longer than previous chapters but I kind of like this length. It gives more of a plot so future chapters will probably be more on this caliber. Thanks for reading!


	11. What Happens in Tibet

The world fades back in as quickly as it faded out. Crisp night air surrounds me and a heavy breeze brushes against my skin and lifts my hair. Where am I? I should look around but my body doesn’t seem to respond. I try to swallow but my tongue feels thick and sticks to the roof of my mouth. There’s a buzzing in my head. I know there are sounds but they’re muffled to my ears. In front of my face a hole is surrounded by pinpricks of light. A point of darkness against the city lights stretched out below.

“Ahjkendn…Aydwayen!...Adrien!” I blink and the dark spot sharpens. Takes shape. Focuses into a tiny black cat. “Are you alright, kid?”

Plagg.

I‘m up high. Why am I up high? My eyes drag down and I realize I’m standing on the ledge of a roof, my toes hanging over. I flinch and stumble back to safety. Spinning around I realize I’m on the roof of the office building that the club was in. If I focus I can just barely feel the bass vibrating under my feet. I don’t remember how I got here.

“Goodness Adrien, ARE YOU OKAY?!” Plagg lingers near my head with an expression I rarely see…Concern?

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m…” Five red dots float in my head. “I don’t know. She’s…She’s ladybug, Plagg. Marinette. My friend Marinette. She’s ladybug.”

The worry in Plagg’s eyes is almost as disconcerting as finding out Marinette is my superhero partner. “Yeah, I know.”

“You know?” My shoulders tighten and I point an incriminating finger at Plagg “You KNOW? HOW?! WHEN?!...” Oh. My entire posture deflates as the realization hits me. I forgot about Dark Owl. I look at him as he floats lazily in the breeze, his face reflecting derision once again. “You knew this whole time. You knew this entire week while I struggled with-”

The sound of voices makes my mouth snap shut. I look over my shoulder to the access door. It hangs crooked on its hinges, almost like it has been kicked open. I don’t remember much past escaping into a suffocating crowd after dancing with Marinette. I must have found the stairs and went up to the roof instead of exiting the building. I know why subconsciously I went up instead of down. I needed to be Chat Noir tonight. I needed the escape. I don’t know how much noise I made getting up here but it was obviously enough that someone heard me and came to investigate. I need to get away. I need to think. I can’t go home. I need-

“You going to say the words kitten or are we just going to stand here all night?”

I jump, too lost in my own thoughts. “Sorry, claws out Plagg.”

Within moments I’m in the air using my baton to clear a particularly wide jump. I run aimlessly, not sure where to head. Usually I would head to the Eiffel Tower but I don’t want to chance running into…her. I need to find a place to just think. Somewhere not near the usual haunts. I’m considering my options when I see Montparnasse Tower in the distance. Perfect! High enough she won’t see me and nowhere near her house or patrol areas.

I land on the tower’s flat roof after extending my baton to its limit. My landing is soundless in the open air observation deck. No chattering of tourists this time of night. All is dark and empty. Well except for a few of those red modern chairs that someone must have left out. I pad over and drag one to the glass barrier overlooking the city. It’s screeching, scraping path is intensified in the surrounding silence. The simple movement feels like it requires more effort than it should. It feels like it has an elephant sitting in it and I’m dragging it through sand. I push it right up to glass than throw one leg over to straddle it. My legs give out and I collapse into the hard plastic, utterly exhausted. I’m glad I hadn’t dismissed Plagg yet as the suit absorbs most of the impact. My head drops into my hands.

“Claws in,” I whisper into the dark.

I feel the air stir near my ear but don’t feel Plagg land on my shoulder like he usually would. There are no snide remarks or teasing or begging for cheese, only blessed silence. Silence that begins to immediately be flooded by every interaction I have had with Marinette and Ladybug. Scenes overlap and meld together. Comparing. Contrasting. Ticking off the things that should have given her away.

All these years…

All this time…

_‘_ _There’s only so much I can hope that he’ll see me as something more than his friend.’_

Marinette’s words echo back to me. She has always cared about me. Always wanted something more than a friendship. I start piecing together the timeline, fully realizing the depth of my mistake. When Adrien wasn’t available she turned to Chat. The look in her eyes that night she tried to kiss me, so long ago but it’s burned into my very soul, I had seen love there; deep, penetrating love that had left me breathless. It had haunted my thoughts. How long that feeling had to of been there to reach that depth. Ladybug must have always loved Chat but she held it back all those years because of Adrien, because of me. I had overlooked Marinette because of my feelings for Ladybug only to reject Ladybug because I had developed feelings for Kagami. Uggh, what a mess.

“What are you going to do?”

I give a tortured snigger and mumble into my palms, “I have no clue, Plagg.” I gather my strength and lift my head to stare out over Paris. “At least I didn’t know who she was the other day. I may have given something away when my father confronted me.”

“True. Of all the times for you to figure out Ladybug’s identity, you have to do it when Hawkmoth figured out yours.”

Plagg doesn’t say it with malice but guilt still burns in my belly. “I’m sorry, Plagg. I should have been more careful. I had gotten sloppy at not checking my room before I entered. If I had just taken a second to look, I wouldn’t have blown our cover.”

“I missed it too, Adrien. You at least were dealing with all of your icky human drama. Ladybug had just rejected you and you were distraught.” Plagg floats down and curls up on my knee. His green eyes shine with regret. “I have no excuse. I should have seen you’re father sitting at your desk. I should have warned you.” I stroke his little head and he pushes into my finger morosely.

I close my eyes and press my forehead into the glass barrier trying to block out my father’s plan.

_______________

 

“Adrien. Your father wishes to speak to you.” I drop my pencil at the unexpected interruption. Nathalie stands in my doorway; cool and controlled.

“Now?” I chase the pencil under the desk. “I thought he said he would be busy the remainder of the night.”

“I guess he completed what needed to be done earlier than expected.” Something about her tone makes me poke my head out from under the desk. Her expression has its usual pose but there’s a warning in her gaze. “Please don’t keep him waiting.”

For some reason a shiver raises the hairs on the back of my neck. I throw the recovered pencil into my literature book to mark my place in the Antigone play we are studying in school and follow her to my father’s office. As usual, I stand just inside the room as the door clicks behind me and wait for my father to acknowledge my existence. It takes longer than normal and I have to shift my weight from foot to foot several times to remain comfortable.

The picture of my mother holds my attention as I wait. Her eyes reminding me of the way she would wink at me behind my father’s back. Her smile softening as she listened to me play her favorite piano piece. How safe I would feel when I buried my face in her hair and smelled her fruity shampoo. Without meaning to my eyes drop to my father standing in front of the portrait. He is watching me and a new wave of anxiety rolls over me. His features are set in the same flat expression but his eyes have a spark I’m not comfortable with. He moves away from the computer and walks toward me.

“Adrien sit with me a moment.”

He gestures to the step seating along the edge of the room before turning to sit himself. The tension remains in the air but I can’t think what the cause would be. If I’m being honest we have actually been pretty civil to one another the last few days. I would almost say he took an interest in me…if I didn’t know better. I sit stiffly beside him as he stares over at my mother’s portrait.

“I know you have questions about your mother.” The sharpness at which my eyes pop open is almost painful. “I also know I have done a very poor job answering those questions.” My father turns and finally looks into my eyes. The spark has grown to a glowing ember. “I wish to tell you a story Adrien and at the end I hope I have answered many of the questions you may have.”

I’m ridged. I don’t breath or blink. I only stare back at him as he gives one sharp nod and begins like he is reading me a bed time story.

“I loved your mother the moment I saw her. I had just met Audrey and she was taken with my designs. She was already famous by that point and her opinion on fashion was revered. She agreed to help me, mentor me. Introduce me to the right people.”

He stops for a moment and stares at my mother’s portrait much like I did when I entered the room.  

“During that time I was consumed with building my portfolio. I worked tirelessly. Nothing else registered. I didn’t sleep. Barely ate. I lived for fashion. So when I went to a dinner party to make connections the last thing I expected was to fall in love with Audrey’s friend. Especially, one who wanted to be an actress of all things.”

I’m enthralled by the tender look on my father’s face. The bittersweet smile. The misty, distant look in his eyes. Love radiates off of him. I soak it in. I let it warm me down to the bone. Wishing, deep in a guarded part of myself, that that love was for me as well.

“We had already started eating when your mother breezed into the room. She was sunshine incarnate. She burned away all the oxygen in the room and seared me to my soul. She…” He huffs in a way that could be misconstrued as a chuckle. “…made me laugh.” He shakes his head as if to shake away the memory. “She was something.”

He blinks and turns to look at me. Really looks. His eyes seek out every detail and feature. “You look so much like her.” Awe and love still radiate from him. Before I realize what I’m doing a smile tugs at my lips.

The change is instant. My father’s face slams back into a bored, pretentious mask and his voice resumes its clipped tone. “I digress. Your mother and I started seeing each other and quickly married. What I didn’t know until later is her and her family have a very interesting lineage. It’s ancient and dates back to a Mongolian tribe known for their powerful shamans. It appears that these mystical ancestors had the ability to draw power from their Gods. Gods usually animalistic in nature.” He stares right into my eyes. “Animals like a black cat.”

I jump to my feet but am pulled back down again.

“This power is channeled through pieces that can be worn. Things like hair combs,” he touches his hair where Chloé wears her miraculous, “or earrings” his fingers move to tug on his earlobe, “or a ring.” His fingers skim down toward my ring. 

I jerk my hand away before he can touch my miraculous and lurch to my feet. Spinning to face him I prepare for him to attack. Instead, he sits. Watching me. His face betrays nothing. His eyes though.

They sparkle, as if with sickness.  

“I do not wish to take your miraculous, Adrien. I only ask for your help.”

Silence rings in my ears. Questions fly through my brain, bumping into each other, crowding out the previous before I can voice it. All the while, effectively burying a growing realization. A horrible truth I cannot bring myself to name. I pick instead the easiest most pressing question.

My tongue feels numb as I unstick it from the roof of my mouth. “What do you want?” My voice comes out a croak but I refrain from trying to clear it. I want to hear what he has to say.

“Please sit.” Politely asked but a command none the less. My head slowly turns side to side. I’m not dumb enough to sit within reach.

A lazy smile creeps up my father’s face and I can’t stop the shiver that slides down my spine. He looks maniacal. Bright eyes and ominous smile. Plotting.

“As you wish Adrien.” He pauses and watches me. His head tilting to the side as those hot eyes bore into me. “Your mother needs your help.”

His words hit hard. He wanted them to. All my questions fall away leaving one thought to fill the void. “My mother?” My voice is a whisper of hope.

“She needs you, Adrien.” He hesitates only a moment but it gives his next sentence the power he wants. “She needs Cat Noir.”

_She needs Cat Noir._

That means she’s in trouble! My heart breaks and soars in the same instant. She didn’t leave me. She didn’t leave me behind. Something happened and I can save her. A strange surge of energy crawls along my skin. She needs me. It energizes my body and thrums in my head. I can make our family whole. I march to where my father sits and join him. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and stare him in the face. “Tell me.”

His smile widens into something that could actually be considered happiness. “Okay.” Then it fades into something more professional. “Okay. After your mother and I married we went on our honeymoon to Tibet and made frequent trips after that. When your mother suggested we take these trips I hadn’t known she was going to try and find the Miraculouses. I also didn’t understand her excitement during the last trip at finding a simple book and two broaches.” My head snaps up at his reference. His eyes watch mine for a moment before he continues. “I didn’t understand the implications of us visiting that market, going into that shop.” His eyes hold mine and they start to shine again. Not with feverish desire but a deep bone wrenching sadness. “If I could change that day I would. I would give up _everything_ to change what happened.”

My mind holds onto that word, ‘Everything.’ A chill creeps along my skin but I am too enthralled to interrupt.

“I didn’t know the significance of what she found. I didn’t learn of her ancestors or the history of the items until she was already lost.” His eyes close and he turns away as if collecting himself. He continues speaking but doesn’t turn to face me. “It may be boring but I’ll tell you what I learned.

“As I mentioned before the Mongol’s shamans developed small, wearable vessels that harnessed and controlled the power of their gods. This is how Genghis Khan conquered most of Eurasia. His campaigns were successful but it came with a bloody price. 40 million people were killed in order for him to succeed. He was, however, a very open minded person and during his travels many religions were introduced into the Mongol’s Tengri religion, Buddhism among them. These beliefs mingled together and when a later Mongolian emperor, Kublai Khan, converted to Tibetan Buddhism many of the Shaman’s secrets, including the miraculouses, were happily shared with the Monks.

“Even after the Mongolian Empire fell the relationship between Tibet and Mongolia was strong. By the late 1500s a Mongol military leader Altan Khan sought to reunite the Mongols and went to the third Dalai Lama for help. The two would unite and give legitimacy and protection to the other. There was a concern, however. The Dalai Lama did not want a repeat of the devastation implemented by Genghis Khan. As an act of faith, the Miraculouses were to be concealed at a Buddhist temple in the Himalayan Mountains. The Tibetan monks at this temple were known as the Guardians.

“The unification of a united Mongolian state failed and during the Qing dynasty, China’s control strengthened. The Mongolians tried to retrieve the Miraculouses but the monks had hidden them deep in the mountains and refused to return them. The Mongols were furious but lacked the resources to seek them out. The Miraculouses were lost to them.” He glances at me quickly out of the corner of his eye as a smirk lifts his mouth. “That is until the monks used them for their own purposes.

“In the mid-1800s, when the Sikh Empire attacked Tibet, They’re leader happened upon the Guardians temple.  He attacked simply to extend his territory but the monks feared he would breach the temple and discover the Miraculouses and their power. There was a fracturing of the monks. Some of them wanted to use the vessels to protect the temple but a majority feared the use of the Miraculouses for personal gain. Somehow a young Tibetan monk obtained the Monkey Miraculous and destroyed the temple and everyone in it.” My father throws his hands to the side as if all were lost, his head shaking sadly. “The Miraculouses were lost forever.”

 He looks up at me with mischief in his gaze. He was enjoying telling me this story. A story he probably hasn’t had a chance to share with anyone else.

“Then rumors began. Sightings of fantastic beings with powers above mere mortals. The Mongolian leaders knew then that their greatest treasure, their greatest strength, had survived. They sought out every lead in the search for the Miraculouses. They scoured the countryside and cities alike. However, the vessels always slipped through their fingers.” Suddenly, all the excitement drained out of him. Softly he said, “Until one panned out. Tibet.

“When we were there, your mother and I visited the ruins of a Buddhist temple. She loved to explore the rubble and the small towns nearby. She said the history intrigued her and the art intrigued me. Images of majestic beasts and fierce animals in heroic displays. I especially loved the depiction of the butterfly. There was such grace and simplicity in the drawings but strength and cunning too. It became my emblem. The drawings influenced my fashion designs and lead to my success as a designer.”

That nagging suspicion came rushing to the surface. My fears realized, my body ridged, I hold my breath. I knew it! I knew it when I stole his book from the safe but dismissed it. I let my feelings cloud my judgment and influence my decisions. He did so many horrible things. How much could I have prevented if I had trusted my instincts and looked more closely? I try to control my breathing and unclench my fists which ache from the pressure. My father continues, too absorbed in his story to notice its effect on me.

“When your mother went to purchase the Miraculouses and the book, she barely greeted the clerk. She didn’t even want to let him handle the items to bag them for her. Emile even snatched the bag from the man’s hand and left without getting her change. That’s when I knew something was different. I had never seen her be anything but kind to others.”

My father rubs at his eyes, suddenly looking tired. His shoulders are slumped. His legs splayed wide. I can’t help the way my heart squeezes for him. My body finally relaxes and on instinct I reach out to him.

“Father, can I get you anything?”

“What?” His hand drops as he stares at me with dazed eyes. Like he forgot I was here. “Oh…no, no. I’m fine. Where was I?” He straightens but he still seems bent. “Ah, yes. Your mother spent the next few days studying the book and visiting the ruined temple. She didn’t eat, barely slept. The only time she seemed to take a break was when she would call your grandfather. She always stepped outside during the calls. I knew she was hiding something from me but I didn’t want to push her. One night, a bright flash drew me outside. I looked for your mother but the streets were empty save for a woman dressed strangely across the street. She wore a beautiful dark blue pant suit but the jacket was unusual. It was slightly bustled and fell in flowing, iridescent strips to the back of her knees. I watched her for a second and I could have sworn she was speaking to someone, but she was alone.

“I went back inside and tried calling Emilie. It went to voicemail but before I could get worried she came back inside. I tried to confront her about her behavior but she just dismissed my concerns. We flew home the next day. I’m not sure if you noticed a difference-”

“I noticed.”

He holds my eyes for a second then nods slowly. His hand comes up and grips my shoulder. A single fierce squeeze. A connection. A shared loss. Then gone. His eyes shift to a vacant spot on the floor and the last of my unease leaks from my muscles. “One day she woke me just as the sun was rising. She was excited and demanding to go to the market to get supplies. She picked up a bouquet of violets, a pearl, a vial of salt water, a lotus flower, and several other random items.

“I had since stopped asking what was going on, knowing that she wouldn’t answer me. Instead, I watched. I watched as she grounded down the pearl. I watched as she dried out the lotus and turned it to dust. I watched as she mixed the ingredients. I watched as she soaked the violets into the solution. I watched as she left out the front door. I waited for her to return. I waited all day. I waited most of the night. I called your grandfather steadily but could never reach him. In the early hours, after you had gone to sleep, I went looking for her.”

My father finally sits forward. His eyes lock onto mine. Guilt. Regret. Frustration. Anger. All stare back at me.

“I didn’t find her. I found the woman in Tibet. The one in the amazing pant suit and jacket. Her gold hair was splayed across the ground. A graceful mask concealed her face. Flat green eyes looked right through me. Unseeing. I felt for a pulse. Strong and steady. Her breathing was even but she wasn’t there. I was about to go for help when I saw it. Emilie’s broach. I reached for it. My fingers trembled so badly I barely was able to remove it. A blinding light like the one in Tibet surrounded us and then it was your mother lying in the alley.”

I don’t know when I started to cry. I only notice it as I see a tear rolling down my father’s cheek and felt my own.

“A small sound leads me to a tiny peacock lying next to her. It’s weak. I pick it up and it pleads with me to protect her. With a tiny breath it says something about the book and falls into a similar state as Emilie.”

He wipes his eyes and stands up. He paces in front of me and I start to feel anxiety creep up the base of my skull. I know what is coming. I know what he is about to reveal. I want to hide from it as much as I want my suspicions confirmed.

“I lied to your grandfather. I said I never found her. I claimed she left and never came back. I said she took the book and the broaches and disappeared. He didn’t like it but he had no reason to believe I was lying. I devoured the book. I researched and studied and read and spoke to Nooroo, the butterfly Kwami. He thinks that your mother was trying to enhance the Miraculouses power. He thinks she was trying to recreate pearl of the heart. It is a miraculous specific healing power. I – I think…” He clutches his head and crumbles to his knees. His forehead presses into the floor and his next words are a strain for even my enhanced hearing. “…she did it for me.” His voice gravel and muted against the floorboards. “The peacock’s ability is emotion based. It gives form to intense feelings. She wanted to help me; wanted to take away my fears of failure. ”

I should go to him. I can hear his sobs and see his shoulders shake. I want to but I’m locked in place. Too much is happening. Too much to think about. How did my father know all this. Why didn’t I know? What does Ladybug know? If she did know something would she even tell me? She’s kept so many secrets from me I can’t be sure. I don’t have any answers but one question weights on my tongue. One question I can easily get answered right now.

“What does any of this have to do with Cat Noir?” My words are cold but it seems to help. My father collects himself before standing back up. He adjusts his cravat and smooths his hair. A quick clearing of his throat and he turns and looks into my eyes; his need obvious.

“I need the Ladybug and Cat Noir miraculouses. Once I have both I can fulfill a wish-“

“No, father,” I cut him off before he can even start. “There’s a price for the wish. If you ask for mom back someone else must take her place. I can’t wish this onto someone else.”

My father’s smile is gentle as he steps toward me. A hand gently strokes through my hair.

“You’re so much like her. No son that is not my wish. I wish she had never found the book or the miraculouses. I wish that the remaining guardian had found them instead.”

I forget to breath. That could work. What would it change? I can’t think of anything too terrible. I track my father’s face as he kneels down in front of me, our eyes level. Equal.

“Please, help me. Please help me get ladybug’s earrings and keep your mother safe. That’s all I want. That’s all I’m after.”

I can’t look away from the  sincerity I see. I want to shout ‘yes.’ I want to help my mother. His words from before echo in my head. It holds me back.

_I would give up everything to change what happened._

Would I give up everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus. Among personal reasons for the absence I also spent a great deal of time researching. I wanted the story to fit into actual history as much as possible. I'm quite pleased how it worked out. I think it sets up the history of the miraculous and answers some lingering questions with Emilie and Gabriel. I do have another theory on what happened to Emilie but this one worked for the story. If you're interested in it or want to use it I have no plans for it and it's open for use just ask and I'll share. I hope my take on it wasn't too much of an information dump. If it is please share and I'll try and fix. Thanks so much for reading! I'll try and keep a better pace now that a huge writing hurdle has passed.


	12. Take That Adrien

The cab driver’s eyes catch mine in the rear view mirror and dart away. I try not to bristle at her anxious looks, like I’m going to freak out and start tearing apart the backseat. I know I’m giving off vibes but I’m not even close to losing my temper. Besides I have every right to have vibes to give off. Tonight has sucked. Majorly. Another flicker in the rear view and our eyes meet again. I close my eyes and press my forehead against the frosty window trying to count to ten. I won’t give her the satisfaction of being right and screaming at her to stop acting like I’m a ticking time bomb.

I shiver as the chill spreads from the glass to my skin. Damn Alya for ditching my coat. Now it’s cold out and I am barely covered. And for what? To entice Adrien? Mission failed. In fact, damn Alya for making me wear this stupid outfit to begin with. Oh no, better yet, damn Alya for not letting me give up my bracelet to Kagami and just skipping this night completely. While I’m at it, damn Alya…

A cool hand wraps around my waist as a soft body presses into my side.

“Are you mad at me?”

My shoulders sag and I feel the aggravation slip away. Alya does what all the counting in the world could not. I cover her hand with my own and squeeze.

“No Alya. I’m sorry if I’m being grumpy. I’m just..” I shake my head softly. “It’s not you.” And it wasn’t. She was just here and it was easy to blame her. Another sigh escapes me and I turn into Alya’s embrace. The desire to be held overwhelming. She pulls me close as I snuggle down and lay my head on her shoulder. A gentle warmth is shared between us but it doesn’t reach the melancholy deep in my bones. “I just feel stupid. And small. I feel like a tiny, naïve, dumb-dumb.” I bite into my bottom lip. “Both of them Alya. Both made me feel so important one moment and inconsequential the next. And I let them.”

Alya’s arms pull me in tight. “Oh honey… I’m so sorry. I had such high hopes tonight. It started off so well. I just didn’t expect this from Adrien. He has never been one to mess with someone else’s feelings. He’s usually so careful and considerate. You don’t know what happened? He didn’t say anything?”

“No.” The melancholy deepens. “We were dancing.” My eyes drift closed and I can feel his warm breath tickling through my hair. The way his fingers grazed my skin then gripped tight to my hips. His body pressed close into mine. “Then I just felt him stop. When I turned around…” God his eyes. They were so haunted. “I don’t know. He just stared at me and then left. Ran.”

Alya shakes her head. “So weird. Maybe he…” She pulls away enough to look me in the face. Her eyes are hopeful. “Maybe he was feeling something and he wanted to end things with Kagami first. He could have handled things better but maybe that’s why he bolted.” I feel her stiffen. Her demeanor sags and she nestles back against me.  “Nevermind. It’s pointless to speculate with that boy. Don’t feel like a dumb-dumb though. We all thought something was happening tonight.” We sit in preoccupied silence before Alya shifts and asks what’s really on her mind. “So…um…what happened…with…uh, Luka? I know it was probably hard to see him again but…you didn’t seem upset. And then you did. What changed?”

It’s my turn to pull away and look in Alya’s eyes. They always remind me of warm honey and vibrant moss. I wrap myself in her concern like a warm blanket.

“I meant to say something the other day when Nino invited us to this but then class started. You said that Luka was a sore subject for me. I think I unintentionally let you think something that wasn’t true.” Alya’s brows pinch but she doesn’t interrupt. “I know I was moody after Luka left but…it wasn’t because of him.” I watch her eyebrows lift and her eyes widen with questions but she still doesn’t interrupt. “He didn’t want to leave. He, uh, asked me to ask him to stay. Then he..uh,” I clear my dry throat but my next words still come out a scratchy whisper, “he kissed me.”

“What?!” Alya pulls away from me breaking our warm cocoon. I glance at the driver and of course she’s watching us. Nosey. I give her a hard look and she focuses back on the road. “Luka kissed you and you didn’t tell me? Your first kiss and you don’t TELL me?” Her anger draws my eyes back to her as she leans back and folds her arms over her chest, a scowl darkening her face.

I pause to try and explain but I hadn’t thought of it that way. I guess I did kind of keep it from her. Guilt makes my face scrunch and I look out the window over her shoulder. “I’m sorry Alya. I didn’t even think about it. After what happened I just..” I look in her eyes. I know I have to tell her everything or she’s going to know I’m holding back. I sigh and shift to face her fully. “I really liked Luka but I didn’t realize that he really liked me too. I, maybe, thought there was something there but I never really let myself believe it and he didn’t come out and say anything definite until he was already set to leave. It caught me off guard and I couldn’t ask him to stay. Not when he had all these plans. I couldn’t hold him back. He kissed me and it was…” I watch the side of her mouth tug up into a smirk and I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. “It was magic. He made my head spin…” The smile slides away. “but I still told him he couldn’t stay.”

She shakes her head. “Spill it Mari, I know there’s more to it. You wouldn’t be so cagey if that was all that was going on. Besides, you were devastated. It wouldn’t have affected you that deeply if you told him to leave and he did. Like you already said you liked Luka. You acted like your heart was ripped out. That doesn’t happen with ‘like.’

“I, uh…” I square my should. Here goes nothing. “After Adrien started dating Kagami, I kind of developed feelings for someone else.”

Alya looks like I slapped her. Slowly, her shoulders soften and eyes turn speculative. She leans toward me. “Who?”

I shift uncomfortably. “I developed feelings for, um…I really, really liked…” I can’t look Alya in the eye. She won’t understand because she can’t know how deep my feelings for Chat were. She will attribute it all to a girlish crush and cheapen what I felt. She couldn’t know how close we actually were. “I fell in love with someone else. I fell in love with someone outside of school.” I continue on before she has a chance to interrupt. “Someone I have known for a while. When I let him know how I felt though he told me he was seeing someone else. I think, maybe, at one time he really liked me but I overlooked him because of Adrien. By the time I noticed him it was too late.” I sigh and flick my hands in the air. “That’s why I couldn’t ask Luka to stay. I had wanted to give this guy a chance but it didn’t work out either way for me. That’s why I was upset then. It wasn’t because Luka hurt me. If anything I hurt him. I just..I felt like I had let everything slip through my fingers.”

Alya watches me. “You’re not going to tell me who this other guy is, are you?”

I shake my head.

There’s a struggle in her gaze. She wants to push. I silently beg her not to. She holds my gaze but I can see she’s struggling. She breaks first. “Fine. You’ve had a bad night I won’t badger you.” Relief floods me. “Tonight.” Her eyes hold mine again with a wicked smile. Swallowing becomes difficult but she continues on giving me a reprieve. “So when you saw Luka you saw a second chance?” I nod. “So what happened? You didn’t look nearly as happy when you guys came back with drinks.”

I pick at my fingers to keep from meeting her eyes. “I was really happy to see him and then he started talking about how he was coming back here. He wanted to settle down. He looked at me like he wanted me in this new chapter of his life.” Her head nods and I’m comforted that I wasn’t the only one who thought that. “I was over the moon when we left to get drinks.” My shoulder lifts to dismiss what I had hoped. “Once we started talking though I let my insecurities get to me. I mean, we just happened to run into each other. If I was the reason for his shift in priorities wouldn’t he have sought me out?” I tried to gauge her reaction but she was hard to read. “I guess I just realized I didn’t really know him anymore and I was getting my hopes up to possibly be let down, again.”

Alya reaches over and covers my hand with hers. “Or you are letting something good slip through your fingers again.” She smiles gently at me. “Give him a chance. He wanted to stay. Now he’s coming back here when he could have gone anywhere.” I can’t stop the hope that creeps into my heart. “See where this could go without letting others distract you. Other unavailable blond models that need to get their shit together.”

I smile and she wraps her arms around me again. This time her warmth burns away any lingering sadness. I mull over what she said as I watch the city through the window. More and more buildings start to look familiar and I know we’re almost to my house. I’m still thinking about what to do when we pull up to the bakery. I’m distracted as Alya hands me my coat from her car and hugs me one last time. I walk into the dark bakery in a daze and make it to my room without even thinking about what I was doing.

I’m consumed with what I should and shouldn’t do. I want to give Luka a chance but tonight has shown that I’m still hung up on Adrien. Plus Chat Noir still makes appearances in my dreams. Some less innocent than others. Is it fair? Can I let them go for a chance with Luka?

I come to a decision.

Blinking I realize I’m lying in bed just staring at the ceiling. I snatch my phone and practically fall off the bed in my haste to find my purse. I slide/trip down the stairs and start looking for where it could be. My mind is a blank on what I did when I came in my room. I try not to make a bunch of noise or knock anything over in my frenzy. I slide and land heavily on my hip but spot the strap half hidden behind my desk. Scrambling for purchase, I jerk it free and in one motion dump the whole thing onto my rug. As I sift through lipstick and a hairbrush and a million other inconsequential things I finally find what I’m looking for. I pull out Luka’s business card and pull up contacts in my phone. My thumb hovers over his info after I save his number.

_He could have gone anywhere._

My eyes shift to the clock on my desk. It’s really late. Would he even still be up? Would he be busy? Would he even be alone? Biting into my lip I follow Alya’s advice and give him a chance. I hit the text button next to Luka’s name.

            Mari: Any plans tomorrow?

Before I even put down my phone it buzzes against my fingers. With a dopey smile I unlock the screen.

            Luka: I have a lunch date with and old friend at noon. I just don’t know where she would like to eat.

My silly heart skips.

            Mari: I personally have always loved HolyBelly. The question is breakfast or lunch?

            Luka: Well, I know she loves breakfast.

            Mari: Any sane woman would love breakfast, especially from there.

            Luka: So she’ll be at HolyBelly 5 at noon?

            Mari: I bet she can’t wait

            Luka: Neither can I.

I see dots appear next to his name like he’s typing but it takes several seconds before a short message pops up.

            Luka: I’m so glad I ran into you tonight, Marinette.

I melt.

            Mari: Me too Luka.

I want to say more but I can’t make my fingers type. I hesitate too long and he sends me another message before I can come up with anything.

            Luka: Sweet dreams, Marinette.

I smile softly.

            Mari: Goodnight, Luka.

I practically float back up to my bed, not even bothering to clean up the mess on the floor. I fall back onto it feeling giddy.

OH! I have to tell Alya!

            Mari: Still awake?

            Alya: What’s up girlie?

            Mari: Sooooo, I took your advice.

            Alya: Which one? I’m pretty sure I handed out a lot of it tonight. LOL

            Mari: I texted Luka and we’re meeting up tomorrow.

            Alya: What?! Really?! YES! I expect a full report tomorrow. No more secrets.

            Mari: I will tell you everything that happens. Promise.

            Alya: On your date.

Oh I liked the sound of that. A date with Luka.

            Mari: Yeah, yeah. On my date. Night.

            Alya: Night

I shower and start getting ready for bed. As I brush my teeth I catch my reflection. My hair is wet and lying flat against my head. I still have raccoon eyes from my makeup but for the first time in a long time I look excited. Tonight has improved considerably and I’m looking forward to lunch tomorrow with Luka. A minty smile stretches across my face.

Take that Adrien.


End file.
